Sunday, May 28, 2006

Roland Garros is Here Bring it On and Quality Fan Reports Of Course

It’s time for the biggest clay championships apart from Houston and this year the organising committee have decided in all their infinite wisdom to start the tournament on a Sunday which is not a good thing and the main gripe I have with it, has already borne fruit.

Bimes and the stooges will say we are starting on Sunday cause we want the fans to see more tennis and other wonderfully hollow slogans, but in reality all it is whoring themselves for the money. If they gave a fuck about the fans, then the ticket prices would be lower than they are, but that won’t be happening. At the same time they have done some work on Roland Garros and they will need to get some of the money back and this is one of the ways they have decided.

The reality is that there are only a few matches and the players that win it will have to pull their dicks until Wednesday to play their second round matches at earliest. Here is another problem for example Diego Hartfield who qualified for his 1st Grand Slam event yesterday and has to back up today to play his main draw match, which he didn’t have to do in the qualies and yes there should be a day of rest in between the end of qualies and the start of the main draw. Yes, qualifiers are people too. Enough of the rants and at least it’s not as ludicrous as Super Saturday at the US Open.

Onto business at hand, the draw well I did say Nadal would need to suffer from bird flu not to make the final here, but strange things happen in pro sport, this is true. Though if Roddick wins RG I will dance nude on webcam.

Federer will have enough time to ease into the tournament. He will play Hartfield who is a lucky guy he got Federer in the first round and also that he has to back up from playing yesterday. I hope he can enjoy the moment and put up a good show and not get slaughtered in less than 90 minutes.

As for Federer I don’t think he will win it this year, though I would like to see Federer win RG once. His fitness levels if he can get tested are a question mark and also how will he play tactically when he is under pressure. His match against Nadal in Rome is the right way for him to play on clay as his volleys are better than most on tour and he can match most from the baseline, as they say under the most pressure is when the weaknesses must hold up.

Berdych, the man who is predictable for his unpredictability. Hopefully Jaro can get the talented and lazy enigma going and he had some good wins last week in Düsseldorf, though he does play well for the Czech Republic. He has LaLo in the first round and he should be made to walk home to Prostejov if he loses this match, though just hope LaLo doesn’t have one of those good serving days and just hope the Berdman decides to get his feet moving and if he can do that, then he has quite a good section as he has it over Volandri and Kiefer. At the same time trying to pick what’s happening with the inconsistent one is never easy.

Then there is the section with Acasuso and Boredo and I think that the quarter finalist will be one of those 2 players. Boredo is in good form and play his usual Boredo way and he won’t be losing to the likes of Zib or Pashanski. Usually Boredo is fairly good in taking out players he should be beating and then losing to the ones above him, though after his win in Hamburg, he is a top 10 player now and that brings extra challenges.

Chucho has an interesting match against Santoro. In theory Chucho should win this match easily as he is in good form and Fab hasn’t been and is not at his best on clay, but Santoro can easily pull out a big performance here and Chucho needs to guard against that. He has to be really patient as well and not let the little wizard throw him off with his little dinks and dropshots and slices and he will need to those big feet to be moving very well and have to impose himself on Santoro.

They have only played once and that was on hardcourt which Chucho won and it was close, just hope Chucho gets through this match and then the potential match with Boredo could be interesting, as they have never played on clay. Boredo hates playing big servers and has admitted this and Chucho beat him last time and has the weapons to put away the Boredo, just hope the match happens.

Next Argentine is Nalle who has a potentially difficult opponent Wawrinka. They met this year at the Aus Open and Stani got a set off him there and Stani is on his favourite surface and it’s not for Nalbandian. The thing Nalle has is that he has the game to exploit Stani’s movement which can be very poor as he has excellent groundstrokes, but gets sloppy with the footwork and this is the main reason in my view as to why he is not higher in the rankings than he is at the moment.

If Nalle gets through this match with Wawrinka he is in quite a good section in the draw with Tursunov, Grosjean and Nieminen as the seeds. Yes, I know Gasquet is in this section he won’t lose to Wang, but he isn’t going to go further as he is likely to lose to Nalle or Wawrinka. In this section there are some classic claycourt clowns Tursunov, Moodie and Carlsen for example. Could easily see a Nalbandian vs Nieminen 4th round match and these two don’t have easy matches at all.

Next we have the moody, unhappy, surly, depressed I am taking on the whole worlds problems and I can’t solve them Gaston Gaudio. Yes, he is going through something that is not good and has to take some steps to fix these problems. This is meant to be his event to be peaking at and showing the world his undoubted talents on clay, but the question is which Gaudio we will see and how long for.

It’s clearly bad when he even looks more dispirited than usual on the court and he is playing against Karanusic and that should be a good match for him to try and find some form, but Gaston is a strange one and there is the potential for anything as has been witnessed over the time.

In a way if he loses in the 2nd round I wouldn’t be so pissed off if Seppi was able to beat him, though the plays Evgeny Korolev who is a huge talent and along with del Potro among the best of the qualifiers. Seppi has been in poor form lately and Korolev could kill him, though Seppi will fight hard and thanks deivid for making this point, that if the match goes for some time then there are question marks about his endurance, but there aren’t about his abilities. Also the youngster del Potro is playing Ferrero and I wonder how much he has learnt from that defeat in Buenos Aires earlier this year, where he pushed JCF very hard.

Roddick and Ljubo quarter is a joke and Ferrer is the favourite to come through this section of the draw and make the semis. Baghdatis could easily lose to that piece of crap Portas if he is not on his game at all. Thunder Lips doesn’t have a great GS record and will more than likely lose in the 3rd round. The question is whether Roddick will play and if he does, he has a marshmallow soft section until the 3rd round at least. The Verdasco/Chela match is the pick of the 1st round matches in this section and maybe Juan Monaco can do something though I wouldn’t fancy him over either Chela or Verdasco. The future Wimbledon champ Oscar Hernandez is there as well and that is the true highlight of this part of the draw.

The bottom quarter and there are some players I am interested in how they go in this section. Superstar Almagro has plenty of possibilities to make the 4th round here as he can easily take out Arthurs, Blake or the Srich here.

In this part Yayo Massa has qualified after having so many injury problems it is good to see him back at RG and he has an excellent opportunity against big Dick Norman, then it’s a rematch of the rapper Monfils and Murray and maybe the French crowd can play their tricks and get under Murray’s skin and help Monfils get the revenge.

Vicente has a big chance of making the 3rd round as he should be able to wipe out Waske the dickhead and he has enough nous to defeat Schüttler or Haas in the next round. But the opponents in this section are either Gonzalez, Safin, Horna and Djokovic.

Gonzalez and Safin is the highlight match of the 1st round and Marat likes to play against the bigger players, so he won’t lack motivation for once and there could be a chance of some heavy hitting in this match.

Lucho and Djokovic is a match that personally I’d like to see and hopefully Horna’s back isn’t too bad, but I don’t think it will be and this could easily go the distance. Lucho and Nole aren’t in the greatest form, though Lucho made a semi and has won a title this year, but there have some downs in this one for sure.

Nadal well he won’t be pushed for some time in this tournament. The time for action is now.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Düsseldorf, Pörtschach, Roland Garros and the Trials of Gaston Gaudio

Since we have 3 events at the same time, time to throw them in together and see what happens.

The fun of the World Team Cup (WTC) is on us again in lovely Düsseldorf, which is not my favourite place in Germany and for those who want to know where that is. It's called Freiburg and yes that is the German football team this blogger supports.

Chile the WTC specialists have started well winning 3-0 and these guys do it take seriously, even though in reality it's an exhibition before RG, though it does produce some good matches and some very silly results. Gonzo and Massu had hard fought victories over Ferrer and Verdasco in 3 sets and Gonzo and Ferrer must be still pissed off that Robredo won in Hamburg. The problem with WTC success is that Gonzo hasn't always performed his best at Roland Garros and neither has Massu.

Onto Argentina well Nalbandian has been at home recently with some personal issues that did not involve anything to do with rally racing and lost a tough match to the talented, but famously erratic Berdych which gave the Czechs a 2-0 lead.

Well well Gaudio this was an impressive one to say the least losing to Vik, who albeit is quite talented but lazy and for the most part successful on the Challenger circuit losing in straight sets 7-6 6-3. Yes, it's an exho and for the most part it doesn't matter too much, but these are not good signs at all for Gaudio at all. He usually plays quite well here, but it seems like he had the worst effects of PMS ( no offence to all the beautiful ladies) that read this blog.

Get your head out of your arse Gaston, seriously. He is the one of the most gifted players on the tour, he has a backhand to die for, a loving family and an understanding coach, yet he is still miserable when he misses a ball by 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000th of a mm off the centre of the racquet. I mean he must be one of the rarest guys on the tour, an Argentine that lacks self belief. He has time to come around before RG, but not much.

Good to see the Croatian serving machines defeated the Yanks, only bad thing was Gineprick defeating big Ivo, but Ljubo and Ivo showed that buffoons the Bryan brothers about tennis on clay.

Pörtschach is a very nice resort in Carinthia and much better than St Pölten and it seems the tournament has the potential to do well, too bad das arschloch Ronnie Leitgeb is running the show, but can't help bad luck.

Hewitt decides to turn up and he lost to the god loving Brazilian Marcos Daniel in 3 sets, good to see Lleyton thought about his claycourt preparation in great detail. Hahaha, Richard Gasquet the overrated player with a fine backhand losing in qualies, then comes into the main draw as a Lucky Loser and beats Hrbaty the 3 seed. As usual the last week before a Slam, something funny happens and please Horna and Seppi win a match here.

Today is the beginning of the RG qualies and of course they start on Tuesday. Since they have decided to cut it back to best of 3 sets, then why don't they start it on Thursday, then again the arseholes at RG charge for qualies, so there is your answer there.

Good luck to the guys I support in qualies and at least one of Luczak, Koubek, Zabaleta, Russell among others make the main draw, but we will find out soon enough.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The Joys of Radek "Thunder Lips" Stepanek



Radek Doing the Worm


Ok, people who read this blog and I would love to say it's a whole lot of them, but I take what I get.

I have decided amongst the tournament reports and views, that I will do some write ups on particular players and some rants about particular issues among them and it would be appreciated in a big way if I was able to get some feedback in a positive or negative manner. There is only so much one can take of talking to themselves.


Onto the subject at hand Mr "Thunder Lips" Stepanek. He is an interesting player and a guy and he knows how to rub people up the wrong way through various antics. He is to be congratulauted for making the top 10 in singles, though there will be some more said about this in later issues.

Radek has made the most out of his abilities as a player and with that Continental grip forehand. In 2002 he was struggling and mostly playing doubles. Then he worked with Petr Korda and after qualifying for a shitload of events, then his progress was going higher and higher and Radek was able to move through the rankings.

His serve isn't that much in terms of speed, but it is very effective and he has a lot of variety in his game unlike many of the players on the tour, and while his forehand isn't the best, his backhand is very solid, his volleys are good and he loves the use of the dropshot, to say to the point he has dropshotitis, especially when his normal isn't working as well as it should be.

As for the antics, well it does manage to piss off a lot of players, fans and commentators alike at times. At the same is the what "Thunder Lips" does any more irritating than a Hewitt fist up, an Almagro dance or Marat throwing his racquet? This is debatable and all down to personal interpretations.

Personally the breakdancing worm is underrated and the "Thunder Lips" tango otherwise known as the skip after he wins a big point and the facial expressions are just part of what he is. I can see how he would be irritating to some people, but I give him credit for playing a little differently to the majority and doing something a bit different.

Well there are numerous cracks about his looks, but he is there to play tennis and he does that very well and not a male model. If the ladies want that, then go and watch Feliciano "LaLo" Lopez play. At the same time the name "Thunder Lips" is a lot better than being called Brad Pitt especially from that wonderful oil painting otherwise known as Jon Wertheim, someone who is allegedly a tennis journalist, though I'd rather that comment from him than Peter "the Bozo" Bodo.

It hasn't done Radek any harm with the ladies and his previous girlfriend was absolutely stunning and she went for him when he wasn't well known or wealthy. Which is mysterious as to why he is with Martina Hingis at the moment? She has had more traffic than Heathrow Airport, then it must be the money, then again usually any ATP player that has gone out with Hingis hasn't always done well afterwards except Magnus Norman.


For one who has made it in the top 10 Stepanek has a terrifically awful Grand Slam record. He has never managed to get past the 3rd round of any of the Slams and that is not good enough for a player of his talent and the same could be said for big Ivan Ljubicic, though he has at least made a quarter final of a Slam. Also he has a shocking record in finals and lost his first 6 of them and ones when he was favourite and on;y got his 1st title this year in Rotterdam.

Thunder Lips has had some good matches at the Slams. He as an unknown defeated Guga Kuerten in 5 sets and yes his game gave Guga the shits, with sneaking into the net and hitting drop volleys with Guga shaking hands with the people in the front row.

Then again at the Aus Open he played a classic with Sanguinetti and there were plenty of gestutres in that match and this year with Marcos and the Cyprot fans giving him the treatment for sure.

Overall I don't mind the game of "Thunder Lips" as he brings something different to tennis and as for his gamesmanship, well it's clear and he is far from the only player to use these tactics.

To close out, the worm lives on forever as does the tucked in shirt. Some people appreciate it and others don't, but that is a microcosm of life.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Hamming it Up in Hamburg

The end of the clay TMS events is upon us and the circus goes to Hamburg. It's not one of my favourite places on the planet, but this event has a 100 years of tradition on it and also the fact that the claycourts here are very heavy and slow and that gives it something different.

With these factors it's interesting that Federer is so at home here. Yes, he likes to play in German-speaking countries and the like, but the surface is very slow and he does not have the footing problems as he has had at Roland Garros for example and at the time the heaviness of the court due to the weather and the extra clay on the court help him and give him more time to execute his shots, even though his have a greater chance of being chased down, he has won it 3 times and the question is will he play here again.

Enough of Federer for now. This is the last big event for the guys before RG and also the players that are bordering on whether they are seeded or not will be looking for some big performances. For once Acasuso has a reasonable draw and he is in the top 30 and hope he can take advantage of this and he has Ljubicic as a possible second round contender and if he can't beat him on this surface, then it's doubtful that he will beat him anywhere.

The big Russian Safin will need a good performance here just for his confidence and he has made the finals of Hamburg before. The only thing that is predictable about him is his unpredictability and for once the solidly built Saretta has qualified for a main draw and instead of getting Coria, he gets Safin.

- Gasquet makes a comeback to tennis and plays against the Flea.

- Berdych plays the annoying Serra and annoying only in reference to his game style and I can see Serra winning this one quite easily.

- PMK and Massu: There should be a lot of ballbashing in this one and I would love to see a few serve/volley points in this one for humourous reasons. Massu does need to win this match, if he serves well then he has a chance.

- Seppi and Wawrinka : At least Stani has had one good tournament and Andy hasn't been setting the world on fire at the moment, but he made the quarters here last year as a qualifier and maybe that could inspire him to do well and for Seppi to win this match. He needs to get the big Stani moving as while Wawrinka has the shots especially that backhand, he can move like he is in wet cement at times.

- Monfils and Murray: The battle of the two youngsters one who has actually start to win some matches and has the crazy dancing and one who will cramp after 10 minutes of play. They played against each other in juniors and should be interesting result and allez Monfils.

- Moya and Blake: Carlos has a good draw and can take advantage of it and as much I think Blake is a good guy and good for the game, he is a claycourt clown and Moya should do the business here quite easily.

- Gonzalez v Tursunov: This could get very ugly and imagine these two on a bad day. The Danes would be in danger from tennis balls as these guys could easily reach Denmark with some bad shots and Mitya treats the clay season as a joke and he will just swing and hope for the best. A match between he and the Srich at RG would be sold out in 2 mins or less.

- Djokovic vs Coria: Djokovic would have to think Xmas has come early, but at the same time there will be a time when Coria stops giving away presents, though I hope it's not too soon, but I wouldn't be surprised if Coria won this match and Djokovic needs to get some more wins under his belt.

- Gaudio vs Martin: Gaston has won the last 3 against Martin and knows how to play him, but he really needs to be prepared to work very hard and stay out there as long as necessary to win. If he plays to his talents or near enough he should win and at the same time get to hit a lot of balls and that is what he needs at the moment.

Lucho better win against Mirnyi and the same for Grosjean against Gineprick and I am still doubtful that Nadal will play in Hamburg, but onward bound I say.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Roaming around in Rome and Fan Reports in the Eternal City of Chaos

The circus this week goes to Rome and what a perfect place for a circus it is. The place is chaotic, mad drivers, hot and dusty, plenty of historic ruins and nutters just the fitting setting for 2nd of the clay TMS events.

This event has some strange results I mean this is where the clay-phobic Americans have their best chance to do well before the business gets serious in Paris.

Why is this so? Well one factor is the weather well since it’s warmer in Rome than it is the other places and with less rain and warm conditions the court plays quicker than the other clay courts on the circuit, except for the stops at altitude, fortunately Rome isn’t at altitude. The fact that they have less on clay on the surface as well is another factor that speeds up the surface in addition to the lighter balls and the way it’s swept after the set. Well Sampras, Agassi have won here, Haas and Rafter made finals here and Roddick’s best ever clay result in a real event as Houston is just a real Mickey Mouse event.

The qualifiers should be interesting and our Rome correspondent has run into the famous Federico Luzzi. He played Juan Monaco in the first round of qualies and good to see Monaco won easily as to be honest Luzzi is a real arse clown. I remember him getting involved in a few arguments and he is the man who famously punched Herr Dani Köllerer after a challenger match in Italy, where both of them got a holiday. They had a heated argument that continued and continued and then Luzzi punched him.

As for who qualifies I’d like to see the Superstar play and it would be fun if he played Silver Fox Sanguinetti with his antics and he is an Italian speaker, so he’d know if they were abusing him and could lead to a heated contest. Hopefully Saretta, Vicente, Monaco, Djokovic and Beto Martin can make the main draw.

Onto the main draw I wonder how Gaudio and Safin will play here as they aren’t exactly fans of Rome, but that happens some people play well at certain events and the whole Nadal streak thing and lets see if he can match the Muster run in 96 by defending Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Rome, but will he fall at RG.

Now the first rounders there are some good potential matches and potential humour as well and that is just as important. ATP and now new bandwagon favourite of MTF Mitya Tursunov is doing down again on clay and the Italians will give him more crap than the Portuguese did and he plays the Potato who should do enough to get the job done.

- LaLo vs Stepanek : Time for Thunder Lips to continue beating up on his pigeon LaLo who is a joke of a player and I hope it’s in straight sets.

- Ferrer vs Chucho : Not the best 1st round for Chucho, but ever since losing his first match against Ferrer, he was won the next 3 in straight sets and I would love to see this kind of result again. Ferrer is a battler and Chucho lost a very tough match against Gaudio in Monte Carlo and decided to take two weeks off and hope this keeps him fresh and ready to go and if he serves well I can see him imposing his game on Ferrer and that’s the key for it and remain patient as he will get chances.

- Ferrero vs Mathieu: Well this one could go either way, will the talented PHM show up or the meek choking mouse. Ferrero has lost a little bit of edge, but at the same time this clay season he hasn’t been losing to duds. I’d like to see PHM win, but it won’t be likely.


- Gaudio vs Malisse : Two talented guys without the greatest mental toughness, but I think Gaudio’s superior clay ability should get him over the line in this one, but one can never tell and a likely meeting with the Berdman in the second round and if he loses to the Srich on clay, then there are major problems.

In this section are Seppi, Youzhny, Wawrinka and Gonzalez and who makes the 3rd round out of these 3 will be out of Seppi, Stani and Gonzalez as Youzhny is in shit form at the moment and Seppi normally plays well in Italy and the Stani vs Gonzo match will be explosive though I am not likely to see it among the sea of Italians that will be 1st rounders on TV.

Now onto some of the other matches in this 1st round. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the Americans are gone by Round 1, though Mirnyi has been in horrible form of late, at the same time Ginepri is perfect for someone to recover their form. Serra should have too much clay nous for Blake and for Hanescu just hope he is over his injury problems and I would like Lurch to be able to take out Duckboy.

Baghdatis is back after his layoff and Oli Rochus could be tired from Münich and that is a chance for him and Marcos’s clay results haven’t been that great from the little he has played on the surface. Lucho Horna is up against Ancic and Lucho needs a good result at one of these TMS events, so he can get himself a seeding at RG. Hope the Shark is over his illness by the time he plays Grosjean, if you are losing 1 and 2 to Vliegen on clay, then there has to be an illness problem.

Nadal and Moya, it would be hilarious if Moya stopped his protégé’s winning streak on clay, though if he does that then Rafa is more likely to win Roland Garros if he loses here.

On a sidenote I will have some rants in the future and also congratulations to Oliver Marach who has made the top 100 for the first time. He is a good guy and good to see one of them do something good at the same time if he or Vicente make the main draw of Rome, it is fine.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Justin Gimelstob Wins a Match on Clay in the Lucky Loser Paradise of Estoril and Reports from the Land of Lederhosen in Munich

Many of the players are taking a break this week and are either attempting to qualify for Rome or getting ready to play after a break of 2 weeks like Acasuso and Gaudio.

This will start off in Estoril and this tournament has had a spate of late withdrawals and has seen the tournament have 5 Lucky Losers in the main draw and that is more than the 4 qualifiers that are in the draw and for this year Estoril does have Mickey Mouse status, though I am not sure if it ranks with Casachallenger.

Already this tournament has started with a shock in that Justin Gimelstob won a match on clay and that is a huge surprise and Gimelstob is probably still in disbelief, but I will give him and Vincenzo Spadea credit for at least turning up and playing these events. Well for Lukas Dlouhy he deserves the red card for losing to Gimelclown on clay and having a match point, this deserves a suspension for losing this match, maybe he can be off the tour for 3 months for losing a match like this, but his confidence will have to be shot to pieces for losing this.

Good to see that Gilles Muller beat the annoying Belgian dwarf Christophe Rochus easily and the PMK is back in the winners circle after losing 3 consecutive 1st round matches and with all these withdrawals this tournament is wide open and it looks like Safin and the PMK will meet for the 3rd time this year and if that happens again I think the result will be the same as Davydenko I think is in awe of Safin and that doesn't help if you have to the beat the guy.

As for who will do well in this tournament, it's a question of who is standing at the end at least blogger favourite Dmitry Tursunov should win a match on clay and that is rare in itself. Though his ATP blog has been funny, but then again at this blog we all know about the humour and entertainment value of Gospodin Tursunov, but as usual MTF gets its a few months later.

Onto Münich and there we have a special reporter there for the tournament. This tournament hasn't suffered like Estoril has, then again not many have relative to the size of the tournament.

The "Weasel" Coria is the number 1 seed in Münich, but how he is going to go at the moment is a very big mystery and something I could discuss at length (I have an idea for a blog article yay) his problems at the moment. He is playing doubles with Juan Monaco at this event and it seems Juan will have to hold the service games and Coria win the return games.

Monaco got back in the winners circle against the Srich, but Juan should be beating the Srich on clay, so that is something to be really that proud of at all, as they say a win is a win and he needs some good performances and he is not doing himself justice at the moment, but confidence is a strange thing, winning like losing is a habit, it's just some are better than others.

Andrei Pavel, this could be his last year on tour and there are a few weak players in the draw, so of course this means he has to draw Nieminen who is one of the better players in the draw and will be one of the favourites for this title, not good for him, but can't have it all in life.

Hopefully the poor mans Acasuso Tomas Behrend can take advantage of his Lucky Loser spot and make the second round and have a good tournament, it would be funny, but I don't see it happening.

Karsten Braasch still the king of German tennis