Servus Kitzbühel it was nice knowing you and sunburn in Umag

The last ever Kitzbühel event is happening and hope it is a good one, though they have some funny things there about the site. First of all on the tournament web page it has a picture of LaLo on it and he is not even playing the event.

It seems Mafioso Tiriac isn’t happy with the event and also the fact that they didn’t pay their bills on time in the last couple of years, plus the town wouldn’t let him build a big mansion there and Ion the svengali wants to move the event, it’s just a question of where it will go now.

The tournament sees the comeback of the PMK and Boredo and it’s a surprise the PMK took a week off, that is a rare thing for him and Boredo now has a new coach in Jordi Vilaro who used to work with Beto Martin and Felix Mantilla, well 2 out of 3 isn’t bad is it.

It’s good that they play in the mountains with a bit of altitude around, though not as high as the Mexico City or Bogota in the old days, it’s definitely cleaner air wise and the ball does fly further and the players need to adjust their length and be even fitter to play well at altitude.

The field isn’t as strong as it was, especially with the growth of Umag and the fact that Umag has matches starting at 6pm , so people can hang on the beach during the day and then enjoy the parties in the evening. There is no secret that Mr Carlos Moya is the Umag king and he loves the place, a beach and a party. So the question is whether you are a beach or mountains person.

Onto the events itself in Kitzi well the Bye makes an appearance the Bye is always welcomed. The best thing is the big Serbian Maltese living Boris Pashanski has a Bye and with that it’s the first 2nd round he has made in his last 11 tournaments. This was the man who made the top 100 last season, without winning an ATP match, he started out OK this year, but he has gone 0-11 in his last events.

Both finalists Gaudio and Verdasco are in the same section and they would need to improve on their recent form to reach there again. Gaudio has now won more doubles titles this season than singles and he loves playing in Kitzi, but maybe this could give him some impetus to improve his singles results and disappointingly he and Max are not playing doubles in Kitz, so the odd couple are no more. Verdasco is the epitome of talented, but tactically inept player on the tour, so trying to guess his results are like trying to find neo-nazi skinheads in Saudi Arabia.

- As for the rest Seppi has the Bye and could play Yayo Massa.

- Lucho is back and hopefully his shoulder/elbow are ready to go.

- Big Marach after his QF showing in Stuttgart, is now at his best ever ranking and wants to do well at home, he has a potential meeting with Gordo Calleri.

- Nieminen comes back after Davis Cup and that disappointing loss to Boredo in Båstad and this event could be good for him.

- Pavel well he got a Bye and he has done well enough to stay in the top 100 and that’s a good thing as I don’t want him to retire just yet. I mean look at the thighs Jonas Björkman has come out of nowhere and played a couple of good singles events and now can keep going, so there is hope for Pavel.

- Luczak qualified and made the second round over challenger maestro Minar and could make the 3rd round as he plays German ballbasher Kohlschreiber.

Umag sees the new Stuttgart champ David “Froggy” Ferrer as the top seed and whether he has been partying too much or not it should be still enough to defeat Carlos “I thrashed DY 6-0 6-0 on hardcourt” Berlocq. He is in the same section as “Mr Umag” Carlos Moya who will probably do well here and quite possibly win it.

Among the other matches, there is a match between promising youngsters Marin Cilic and Evgeny Korolev. Cilic, like most Cro players is tall with a big serve, but he says clay is his favourite surface and both are familiar to each other, if all goes well then these two will make some noise on the ATP and they have already done well this year.

Vicente plays form horse Ramirez Hidalgo, who has been doing something Vicente hasn’t of late, that is winning matches. Then “Dropshot” Dlouhy against the “Chicken Man” anything could happen there.

French Gnome Choupi and Radical Rosie Reporting From Spätzliland Stuttgart and Amersfoort on the side

Well we are in the lovely south west of Germany this week and also in Amersfoort for the summer clay circus, just wish that they didn't move the event from Amsterdam to Amersfoort and such is life.

Best of all there will be some correspondents there, so that means that there will be some reports from matches that most of us won't be able to see and that is always appreciated. As is the Bye making his return to the Tour and watch the large amount of women that will want to talk to the Bye, this is a given.

Too bad Luczak and Koubek didn't qualify, but Hartfield and del Potro did so there are enough Argentines in the field.

Stuttgart has had stronger fields, but even then there are still enough interest in this field. I have to say I love how they managed to put most of my favourites in the one section. For example Gaudio could play his friend Zabaleta, but Zab has been struggling of late and is no sure thing to defeat Waske. Lucho has a bye and then hopefully Saretta is put off with the rubbish Portas game, though one can never tell how focused Saretta is at times.

Seppi and Acasuso is a possible 2nd round match, though I hope Chucho and Ferrer do end up meeting as I can see Chucho smoking Ferrer out of the match and he has the firepower that can hit through Froggy and he has done that on numerous occasions.

Other guys that I hope to do well are Pavel and he can stay in the top 100 as he has no points to defend for the rest of season. Dlouhy and Wawrinka has some good comedy potential and if Stani doesn't want to run and "dropshot" Dlouhy is on his game, then it could be a bad loss, but Stani is inconsistent to say the least and could play a blinder here. If you get a chance to see Marach, it should be taken as he is quite the fiery guy, but not in the Dani Köllerer league, but he does have some very colourful language.

While it's mainly about Stuttgart, there is another event in the Netherlands and they have had some great finals there in the past, but now the weasel is the number 1 seed and for some reason I see that the Coria slump isn't going to continue for too long and he got a local wild card and a 2nd round potential match with Marin Cilic would be intruiging.
Calleri made the final here last year and would like to go one better and as it's a very open tournament anything can happen. Massu the vampire is lurking and scowling. Moya is playing here as well and loves the small clay events these days and Edgardo Massa is back on tour, it would have been fun if he drew with Massu. Hope Vinciguerra can qualify and the young junior from the Netherlands de Bakker.

Look forward to the Stuttgart reports.

Båstad the best IS event and Gaudio chasing the fondue in Gstaad

The summer clay season is back after 4 weeks of that nauseating Wimbledon, though to be fair it has not been as painful as usual, the slowing down of the courts have had something to do with this.

Enough of the grass crap and back onto the clay and the Båstad event. The organisers have done an excellent job with this event, it clearly used to be poor relation compared to Gstaad when it came to attracting the top claycourt players in the 90s after the golden Swedish generation ceased except for Gusten and Magnus Norman. It was the dark days when Cheech Marin won the title in 1999.

It’s a small town on the beach that is very popular in summer and tennis is a big thing there. Yes, with that, there are a lot of rich snobby wankers from Stockholm and other places with their huge summer houses and other stars that go there to be seen and not care about the tennis. There was a funny incident last year when Zabaleta had enough of these idiots and told them to shut up, then again he was losing to the Berdman at the time.

It’s a very good field and has won the best International Series Event 4x in a row and the fact that they don’t pay appearance money makes it a good thing. Nadal has pulled out, but that is only because of his finalist appearance at Wimbledon and it’s understandable that he has withdrawn.

PMK is the top seed and he plays Beto Martin and that won’t be an easy match and actually it’s quite possible for Beto to take this match and there are some very good 1st round matches.

Massu/Zabaleta: There aren’t many secrets between these 2 guys. Massu is a time wasting Vampire, but a tough guy to play and Zabaleta hasn’t been in great form since his comeback, it’s going to take time and it only takes a couple of good wins to change things for him. Zabaleta is huge in Båstad and 2 of his titles have come at the venue and he loves the place and small things like that can help a player.

Acasuso/Coria: Chucho and the weasel have both taken a break and it will be interesting to see how they both come back from the layoff. Just hope Chucho can smoke the Weasel, previous matches well the last one was 3 years ago and the fact that both are a lot different from then. Coria wasn’t missing and dissecting opponents and Chucho wasn’t as good then as he is now, they do know each other quite well, so this could impact on the quality of the match.

Berdych/Almagro : This is a quality 1st round match and both have been winners of the MTF Bandwagon player of the month award and that is a very prestigious award. They have played only once and what a surprise it was at Båstad last year and the Berdman won 6-4 in the 3rd and wouldn’t be a surprise to see if it was that close again. Berdman did have some problems with his shoulder at Wimbledon, but with some rest he should be OK and he has finalist points to defend from here. It will depend on how Almagro returns the Berdman serve as to how this match will pan out.

Chela/Nieminen: Chela loves the clay and the Shark is quite adept on at as well, this time Nieminen comes in as the higher ranked player and having less time to adjust back to the surface after his Wimbledon exploits. Chela has won the only 2 matches they have played on clay, but Jarkko does quite well here and he is the highest ranked player in Norden (Scandinavia to those people who don’t get the term Norden) , maybe the Shark can win this one.

As for the other matches. Lucho is playing Thomas Johansson, in theory Lucho should win this cause of his greater expertise on the clay, but he could just as easily lose this match. Calleri has a qualifier and I am just happy he is back playing again.

Marach and Prpic are playing each other and the best thing about this match is that one of them will get to the next round, both are pretty good guys and Marach is very funny on court especially when he gets shitty.

Vinciguerra is back at Båstad and I’d love for him one day to win this title, but that will be unlikely, if he can stay injury free then that’s a good thing. He is great to watch, interesting he is played the Nadal game before Nadal, but now that has changed. The thing I don’t like is that his backhand doesn’t seem to have improved.

Hope big Peter Luczak can qualify for the main draw it would be good for him to do, he has had some problems this year after such a good start.

While there are quite a few snobs in Båstad, it’s worse in Gstaad. The good thing is that there is plenty of quality Swiss cheese and chocolate there. So the choice is either hang on the beach or play at altitude, though at least in Gstaad they offer $$$$$$$$$$ in fees and we know that is what makes the world go around.

It’s a weaker draw in Gstaad, and no real standout matches in the 1st round. This is the start of the defense of all his points he has in this 3 week winning in Gstaad and Kitzi with a finalist appearance in Stuttgart, if he does not defend those points, then a decline in the rankings is going to happen and how he bounces back will be a key about his mental state.

Hopefully Gaston, Pavel and Seppi can do well. Moya is back for the first time in a long time in Gstaad, big Saretta is there as well. I am surprised he is there, then again the draw is easier, but parties are better in Båstad.

Good to see the tennis back on the clay again.

Gaston Gaudio Wins a Match on Grass and You Only Need to See the Scores on Grass not the Matches

There were rumours that there wouldn't be a tournament preview for Wimbledon, but those have been proven to be false and sadly I can't take credit for the title. It was a comment from Mats Wilander and it makes sense, though more so during the days of Pete "Charisma Serving Machine" Sampras with the grass so short and huge serving bombs which passed for attacking tennis.

As for Wimbledon itself, it does bring out certain emotions in people and not always positive. Like the 2 week a year tennis fans who know Wimbledon and think it is the only tournament around on the circuit, this myth is propogated by the English-language media and then many act with outrage that there are players and fans on this planet who don't regard it as the be all, end all of tennis and these people aren't lesser beings because of it.

Now the grass has been slowed down and there have been some more watchable matches in the view of the blogger. The Ferrero and Koubek match of 2004 was a very exciting match and the only reason we saw it as Ferrero still had a reasonable ranking at the time and the TV stations decided to show it. Usually they show large amounts of crap and tedious matches even by grasscourt standards, though fortunately I won't have to listen to the Australian commentators too much wank on about Hewitt and show hilarious bias when it comes to the tournament, as there is an international feed available.

The thought of the 2002 Wimbledon is still fresh and it would be funny again if something like that carnage happened as long as Roddick doesn't win that is. He has gone backwards as a player and he is unsure of how he wants to play the game, but cause of the lack of quality grasscourters around he should be able to make the semi finals.

So hope some of the people labelled as claycourters, can win a few matches here and irritate the masses. Though the thought of Gaudio, Ferrer and PMK playing on grass has its own humorous value and there is a lot of seriousness around in tennis.

One funny memory as a the moody and chubby Austrian Horst Skoff had won the title in Athens on the Sunday before Wimbledon on clay and enjoyed it. Then he played John McEnroe in the first round and he clowned around as he normally did, though maybe a bit worse than usual. Horsti didn't care at all about the tournament, and McEnroe was getting shitty with Skoff.

I am sorry John McEnroe complaining about on-court behaviour is ludicrous and is like an alcoholic complaining being stuck in a brewery or distillery with an open key.

As for Federer winning, if he did win Wimbledon again, there would be only one natural reaction. If Federer wins Wimbledon then there will be collective SHOCK that he was able to win Wimbledon and that would send the tennis world into a huge tailspin.

Yay for Wimbledon.

David Nalbandian : Where Does He Go from Here

The blog is back and don't worry it won't be on hold during the World Cup, even though that is where my interest will be during the grasscourt season, so those who are fans of what I do, there is no need to despair. This is where the violins come out.

Why write about David Nalbandian? Well how many more times do people need to hear about the Federer/Nadal rivalry, sure it's going on and there are more than enough people to talk about it and since they are the only 2 players that seem to be playing the sport. Yes, there will be an after match review of the final of Roland Garros, but that should be enough.

The other players have to step up to the plate and improve and they can see what the standard is they have to attempt to attain.

Nalbandian or Nalle as I will call him, is one very talented player. Is he best ever never to win a Grand Slam title? The obvious answer is no as he is nowhere near the class of Miloslav Mecir and Marcelo Rios, but he would come to close to Alex Corretja as the best not to win as of yet. He has made the semis of all the Slams at least once and his game translates well to all surfaces, though Rebound Ace is probably his best surface.

His double handed backhand is a great shot and his forehand is good and knows how to use the court very well and he is tactically aware when he is focused, which the same can't be said for many of todays who are one dimensional to the extreme. If they could spell dimensional then that would be considered a success, let alone change things up when not playing well. Players have to adapt to different situations, it's amazing how such talented players can ball strike as well as anyone, yet look like a chump when it's not going well.

Then where are the main problems with Nalle? The fitness is the main one and the lack of application towards it. Here he is in a Slam semi final giving Federer all sorts of problems and then he strains a muscle in his abdominals. Tennis is quite physical these days and this can happen, but at the same time he is not in the greatest shape he could be in.

It's not a bodybuilding contest where cuts are going to help him look better and get him over the line, but having a strong fitness base does help against injuries and helps recovery and he is lazy when it comes to this. At the same time this could be a reason that holds him back in making the next level and take a Slam title his game deserves.

Nalle has an interesting reputation and he has managed to alienate some members of the media. This is not such a bad thing, even though they will write shit about him, cause he doesn't play want to play ball. This of course does not impact on how he plays the game and he gives stupid questions the best treatment with a stupid answer

Nalle needs to make some choices with his tennis. It seems to be an ends to a means and that can be seen by his attitude to training and yes he has had some excellent coaches Markus, Infantino and Mastelli. What has he learnt from these people and has he used any of it in practice. If he is happy with going along like he is at the moment, then that is fine. It's a testament to his talent he has done as well as he has without being really dedicated to it.

Anyone who is familiar with Nalle knows his love for the Rally racing and I can understand that.
Since he is the owner of the "Tango Rally Team" , he could be playing tennis as a means to help with ongoing costs for the team.

Speaking of the team environment Davis Cup is something he loves and definitely puts 100 per cent towards and would love nothing more to win the Davis Cup for Argentina, as much as an individual he is. His committment to Davis Cup can't be faulted and there are some who would say it's higher than his drive for the normal circuit.

It would be good if he could win a Slam, but he has to want to do the work to get into better shape and not have these niggling injuries that keep stopping his progress. Unlike Davydenko he does not play 53 weeks of the year and that is a good thing.

I mean the key is that Nalle shouldn't have regrets once he finishes his tennis career. If he gave it his best and wasn't able to win a Slam, then that wouldn't be so bad, though this does not seem likely

As for his fitness, well this is one aspect that a player has greater control over than many others. Diego Rodriguez is a good guy, but not hard enough on Nalle to do the necessary work needed to improve his base.

Roland Garros is Here Bring it On and Quality Fan Reports Of Course

It’s time for the biggest clay championships apart from Houston and this year the organising committee have decided in all their infinite wisdom to start the tournament on a Sunday which is not a good thing and the main gripe I have with it, has already borne fruit.

Bimes and the stooges will say we are starting on Sunday cause we want the fans to see more tennis and other wonderfully hollow slogans, but in reality all it is whoring themselves for the money. If they gave a fuck about the fans, then the ticket prices would be lower than they are, but that won’t be happening. At the same time they have done some work on Roland Garros and they will need to get some of the money back and this is one of the ways they have decided.

The reality is that there are only a few matches and the players that win it will have to pull their dicks until Wednesday to play their second round matches at earliest. Here is another problem for example Diego Hartfield who qualified for his 1st Grand Slam event yesterday and has to back up today to play his main draw match, which he didn’t have to do in the qualies and yes there should be a day of rest in between the end of qualies and the start of the main draw. Yes, qualifiers are people too. Enough of the rants and at least it’s not as ludicrous as Super Saturday at the US Open.

Onto business at hand, the draw well I did say Nadal would need to suffer from bird flu not to make the final here, but strange things happen in pro sport, this is true. Though if Roddick wins RG I will dance nude on webcam.

Federer will have enough time to ease into the tournament. He will play Hartfield who is a lucky guy he got Federer in the first round and also that he has to back up from playing yesterday. I hope he can enjoy the moment and put up a good show and not get slaughtered in less than 90 minutes.

As for Federer I don’t think he will win it this year, though I would like to see Federer win RG once. His fitness levels if he can get tested are a question mark and also how will he play tactically when he is under pressure. His match against Nadal in Rome is the right way for him to play on clay as his volleys are better than most on tour and he can match most from the baseline, as they say under the most pressure is when the weaknesses must hold up.

Berdych, the man who is predictable for his unpredictability. Hopefully Jaro can get the talented and lazy enigma going and he had some good wins last week in Düsseldorf, though he does play well for the Czech Republic. He has LaLo in the first round and he should be made to walk home to Prostejov if he loses this match, though just hope LaLo doesn’t have one of those good serving days and just hope the Berdman decides to get his feet moving and if he can do that, then he has quite a good section as he has it over Volandri and Kiefer. At the same time trying to pick what’s happening with the inconsistent one is never easy.

Then there is the section with Acasuso and Boredo and I think that the quarter finalist will be one of those 2 players. Boredo is in good form and play his usual Boredo way and he won’t be losing to the likes of Zib or Pashanski. Usually Boredo is fairly good in taking out players he should be beating and then losing to the ones above him, though after his win in Hamburg, he is a top 10 player now and that brings extra challenges.

Chucho has an interesting match against Santoro. In theory Chucho should win this match easily as he is in good form and Fab hasn’t been and is not at his best on clay, but Santoro can easily pull out a big performance here and Chucho needs to guard against that. He has to be really patient as well and not let the little wizard throw him off with his little dinks and dropshots and slices and he will need to those big feet to be moving very well and have to impose himself on Santoro.

They have only played once and that was on hardcourt which Chucho won and it was close, just hope Chucho gets through this match and then the potential match with Boredo could be interesting, as they have never played on clay. Boredo hates playing big servers and has admitted this and Chucho beat him last time and has the weapons to put away the Boredo, just hope the match happens.

Next Argentine is Nalle who has a potentially difficult opponent Wawrinka. They met this year at the Aus Open and Stani got a set off him there and Stani is on his favourite surface and it’s not for Nalbandian. The thing Nalle has is that he has the game to exploit Stani’s movement which can be very poor as he has excellent groundstrokes, but gets sloppy with the footwork and this is the main reason in my view as to why he is not higher in the rankings than he is at the moment.

If Nalle gets through this match with Wawrinka he is in quite a good section in the draw with Tursunov, Grosjean and Nieminen as the seeds. Yes, I know Gasquet is in this section he won’t lose to Wang, but he isn’t going to go further as he is likely to lose to Nalle or Wawrinka. In this section there are some classic claycourt clowns Tursunov, Moodie and Carlsen for example. Could easily see a Nalbandian vs Nieminen 4th round match and these two don’t have easy matches at all.

Next we have the moody, unhappy, surly, depressed I am taking on the whole worlds problems and I can’t solve them Gaston Gaudio. Yes, he is going through something that is not good and has to take some steps to fix these problems. This is meant to be his event to be peaking at and showing the world his undoubted talents on clay, but the question is which Gaudio we will see and how long for.

It’s clearly bad when he even looks more dispirited than usual on the court and he is playing against Karanusic and that should be a good match for him to try and find some form, but Gaston is a strange one and there is the potential for anything as has been witnessed over the time.

In a way if he loses in the 2nd round I wouldn’t be so pissed off if Seppi was able to beat him, though the plays Evgeny Korolev who is a huge talent and along with del Potro among the best of the qualifiers. Seppi has been in poor form lately and Korolev could kill him, though Seppi will fight hard and thanks deivid for making this point, that if the match goes for some time then there are question marks about his endurance, but there aren’t about his abilities. Also the youngster del Potro is playing Ferrero and I wonder how much he has learnt from that defeat in Buenos Aires earlier this year, where he pushed JCF very hard.

Roddick and Ljubo quarter is a joke and Ferrer is the favourite to come through this section of the draw and make the semis. Baghdatis could easily lose to that piece of crap Portas if he is not on his game at all. Thunder Lips doesn’t have a great GS record and will more than likely lose in the 3rd round. The question is whether Roddick will play and if he does, he has a marshmallow soft section until the 3rd round at least. The Verdasco/Chela match is the pick of the 1st round matches in this section and maybe Juan Monaco can do something though I wouldn’t fancy him over either Chela or Verdasco. The future Wimbledon champ Oscar Hernandez is there as well and that is the true highlight of this part of the draw.

The bottom quarter and there are some players I am interested in how they go in this section. Superstar Almagro has plenty of possibilities to make the 4th round here as he can easily take out Arthurs, Blake or the Srich here.

In this part Yayo Massa has qualified after having so many injury problems it is good to see him back at RG and he has an excellent opportunity against big Dick Norman, then it’s a rematch of the rapper Monfils and Murray and maybe the French crowd can play their tricks and get under Murray’s skin and help Monfils get the revenge.

Vicente has a big chance of making the 3rd round as he should be able to wipe out Waske the dickhead and he has enough nous to defeat Schüttler or Haas in the next round. But the opponents in this section are either Gonzalez, Safin, Horna and Djokovic.

Gonzalez and Safin is the highlight match of the 1st round and Marat likes to play against the bigger players, so he won’t lack motivation for once and there could be a chance of some heavy hitting in this match.

Lucho and Djokovic is a match that personally I’d like to see and hopefully Horna’s back isn’t too bad, but I don’t think it will be and this could easily go the distance. Lucho and Nole aren’t in the greatest form, though Lucho made a semi and has won a title this year, but there have some downs in this one for sure.

Nadal well he won’t be pushed for some time in this tournament. The time for action is now.

The Düsseldorf, Pörtschach, Roland Garros and the Trials of Gaston Gaudio

Since we have 3 events at the same time, time to throw them in together and see what happens.

The fun of the World Team Cup (WTC) is on us again in lovely Düsseldorf, which is not my favourite place in Germany and for those who want to know where that is. It's called Freiburg and yes that is the German football team this blogger supports.

Chile the WTC specialists have started well winning 3-0 and these guys do it take seriously, even though in reality it's an exhibition before RG, though it does produce some good matches and some very silly results. Gonzo and Massu had hard fought victories over Ferrer and Verdasco in 3 sets and Gonzo and Ferrer must be still pissed off that Robredo won in Hamburg. The problem with WTC success is that Gonzo hasn't always performed his best at Roland Garros and neither has Massu.

Onto Argentina well Nalbandian has been at home recently with some personal issues that did not involve anything to do with rally racing and lost a tough match to the talented, but famously erratic Berdych which gave the Czechs a 2-0 lead.

Well well Gaudio this was an impressive one to say the least losing to Vik, who albeit is quite talented but lazy and for the most part successful on the Challenger circuit losing in straight sets 7-6 6-3. Yes, it's an exho and for the most part it doesn't matter too much, but these are not good signs at all for Gaudio at all. He usually plays quite well here, but it seems like he had the worst effects of PMS ( no offence to all the beautiful ladies) that read this blog.

Get your head out of your arse Gaston, seriously. He is the one of the most gifted players on the tour, he has a backhand to die for, a loving family and an understanding coach, yet he is still miserable when he misses a ball by 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000th of a mm off the centre of the racquet. I mean he must be one of the rarest guys on the tour, an Argentine that lacks self belief. He has time to come around before RG, but not much.

Good to see the Croatian serving machines defeated the Yanks, only bad thing was Gineprick defeating big Ivo, but Ljubo and Ivo showed that buffoons the Bryan brothers about tennis on clay.

Pörtschach is a very nice resort in Carinthia and much better than St Pölten and it seems the tournament has the potential to do well, too bad das arschloch Ronnie Leitgeb is running the show, but can't help bad luck.

Hewitt decides to turn up and he lost to the god loving Brazilian Marcos Daniel in 3 sets, good to see Lleyton thought about his claycourt preparation in great detail. Hahaha, Richard Gasquet the overrated player with a fine backhand losing in qualies, then comes into the main draw as a Lucky Loser and beats Hrbaty the 3 seed. As usual the last week before a Slam, something funny happens and please Horna and Seppi win a match here.

Today is the beginning of the RG qualies and of course they start on Tuesday. Since they have decided to cut it back to best of 3 sets, then why don't they start it on Thursday, then again the arseholes at RG charge for qualies, so there is your answer there.

Good luck to the guys I support in qualies and at least one of Luczak, Koubek, Zabaleta, Russell among others make the main draw, but we will find out soon enough.

The Joys of Radek "Thunder Lips" Stepanek

Radek Doing the Worm


Ok, people who read this blog and I would love to say it's a whole lot of them, but I take what I get.

I have decided amongst the tournament reports and views, that I will do some write ups on particular players and some rants about particular issues among them and it would be appreciated in a big way if I was able to get some feedback in a positive or negative manner. There is only so much one can take of talking to themselves.

Onto the subject at hand Mr "Thunder Lips" Stepanek. He is an interesting player and a guy and he knows how to rub people up the wrong way through various antics. He is to be congratulauted for making the top 10 in singles, though there will be some more said about this in later issues.

Radek has made the most out of his abilities as a player and with that Continental grip forehand. In 2002 he was struggling and mostly playing doubles. Then he worked with Petr Korda and after qualifying for a shitload of events, then his progress was going higher and higher and Radek was able to move through the rankings.

His serve isn't that much in terms of speed, but it is very effective and he has a lot of variety in his game unlike many of the players on the tour, and while his forehand isn't the best, his backhand is very solid, his volleys are good and he loves the use of the dropshot, to say to the point he has dropshotitis, especially when his normal isn't working as well as it should be.

As for the antics, well it does manage to piss off a lot of players, fans and commentators alike at times. At the same is the what "Thunder Lips" does any more irritating than a Hewitt fist up, an Almagro dance or Marat throwing his racquet? This is debatable and all down to personal interpretations.

Personally the breakdancing worm is underrated and the "Thunder Lips" tango otherwise known as the skip after he wins a big point and the facial expressions are just part of what he is. I can see how he would be irritating to some people, but I give him credit for playing a little differently to the majority and doing something a bit different.

Well there are numerous cracks about his looks, but he is there to play tennis and he does that very well and not a male model. If the ladies want that, then go and watch Feliciano "LaLo" Lopez play. At the same time the name "Thunder Lips" is a lot better than being called Brad Pitt especially from that wonderful oil painting otherwise known as Jon Wertheim, someone who is allegedly a tennis journalist, though I'd rather that comment from him than Peter "the Bozo" Bodo.

It hasn't done Radek any harm with the ladies and his previous girlfriend was absolutely stunning and she went for him when he wasn't well known or wealthy. Which is mysterious as to why he is with Martina Hingis at the moment? She has had more traffic than Heathrow Airport, then it must be the money, then again usually any ATP player that has gone out with Hingis hasn't always done well afterwards except Magnus Norman.

For one who has made it in the top 10 Stepanek has a terrifically awful Grand Slam record. He has never managed to get past the 3rd round of any of the Slams and that is not good enough for a player of his talent and the same could be said for big Ivan Ljubicic, though he has at least made a quarter final of a Slam. Also he has a shocking record in finals and lost his first 6 of them and ones when he was favourite and on;y got his 1st title this year in Rotterdam.

Thunder Lips has had some good matches at the Slams. He as an unknown defeated Guga Kuerten in 5 sets and yes his game gave Guga the shits, with sneaking into the net and hitting drop volleys with Guga shaking hands with the people in the front row.

Then again at the Aus Open he played a classic with Sanguinetti and there were plenty of gestutres in that match and this year with Marcos and the Cyprot fans giving him the treatment for sure.

Overall I don't mind the game of "Thunder Lips" as he brings something different to tennis and as for his gamesmanship, well it's clear and he is far from the only player to use these tactics.

To close out, the worm lives on forever as does the tucked in shirt. Some people appreciate it and others don't, but that is a microcosm of life.

Hamming it Up in Hamburg

The end of the clay TMS events is upon us and the circus goes to Hamburg. It's not one of my favourite places on the planet, but this event has a 100 years of tradition on it and also the fact that the claycourts here are very heavy and slow and that gives it something different.

With these factors it's interesting that Federer is so at home here. Yes, he likes to play in German-speaking countries and the like, but the surface is very slow and he does not have the footing problems as he has had at Roland Garros for example and at the time the heaviness of the court due to the weather and the extra clay on the court help him and give him more time to execute his shots, even though his have a greater chance of being chased down, he has won it 3 times and the question is will he play here again.

Enough of Federer for now. This is the last big event for the guys before RG and also the players that are bordering on whether they are seeded or not will be looking for some big performances. For once Acasuso has a reasonable draw and he is in the top 30 and hope he can take advantage of this and he has Ljubicic as a possible second round contender and if he can't beat him on this surface, then it's doubtful that he will beat him anywhere.

The big Russian Safin will need a good performance here just for his confidence and he has made the finals of Hamburg before. The only thing that is predictable about him is his unpredictability and for once the solidly built Saretta has qualified for a main draw and instead of getting Coria, he gets Safin.

- Gasquet makes a comeback to tennis and plays against the Flea.

- Berdych plays the annoying Serra and annoying only in reference to his game style and I can see Serra winning this one quite easily.

- PMK and Massu: There should be a lot of ballbashing in this one and I would love to see a few serve/volley points in this one for humourous reasons. Massu does need to win this match, if he serves well then he has a chance.

- Seppi and Wawrinka : At least Stani has had one good tournament and Andy hasn't been setting the world on fire at the moment, but he made the quarters here last year as a qualifier and maybe that could inspire him to do well and for Seppi to win this match. He needs to get the big Stani moving as while Wawrinka has the shots especially that backhand, he can move like he is in wet cement at times.

- Monfils and Murray: The battle of the two youngsters one who has actually start to win some matches and has the crazy dancing and one who will cramp after 10 minutes of play. They played against each other in juniors and should be interesting result and allez Monfils.

- Moya and Blake: Carlos has a good draw and can take advantage of it and as much I think Blake is a good guy and good for the game, he is a claycourt clown and Moya should do the business here quite easily.

- Gonzalez v Tursunov: This could get very ugly and imagine these two on a bad day. The Danes would be in danger from tennis balls as these guys could easily reach Denmark with some bad shots and Mitya treats the clay season as a joke and he will just swing and hope for the best. A match between he and the Srich at RG would be sold out in 2 mins or less.

- Djokovic vs Coria: Djokovic would have to think Xmas has come early, but at the same time there will be a time when Coria stops giving away presents, though I hope it's not too soon, but I wouldn't be surprised if Coria won this match and Djokovic needs to get some more wins under his belt.

- Gaudio vs Martin: Gaston has won the last 3 against Martin and knows how to play him, but he really needs to be prepared to work very hard and stay out there as long as necessary to win. If he plays to his talents or near enough he should win and at the same time get to hit a lot of balls and that is what he needs at the moment.

Lucho better win against Mirnyi and the same for Grosjean against Gineprick and I am still doubtful that Nadal will play in Hamburg, but onward bound I say.

Roaming around in Rome and Fan Reports in the Eternal City of Chaos

The circus this week goes to Rome and what a perfect place for a circus it is. The place is chaotic, mad drivers, hot and dusty, plenty of historic ruins and nutters just the fitting setting for 2nd of the clay TMS events.

This event has some strange results I mean this is where the clay-phobic Americans have their best chance to do well before the business gets serious in Paris.

Why is this so? Well one factor is the weather well since it’s warmer in Rome than it is the other places and with less rain and warm conditions the court plays quicker than the other clay courts on the circuit, except for the stops at altitude, fortunately Rome isn’t at altitude. The fact that they have less on clay on the surface as well is another factor that speeds up the surface in addition to the lighter balls and the way it’s swept after the set. Well Sampras, Agassi have won here, Haas and Rafter made finals here and Roddick’s best ever clay result in a real event as Houston is just a real Mickey Mouse event.

The qualifiers should be interesting and our Rome correspondent has run into the famous Federico Luzzi. He played Juan Monaco in the first round of qualies and good to see Monaco won easily as to be honest Luzzi is a real arse clown. I remember him getting involved in a few arguments and he is the man who famously punched Herr Dani Köllerer after a challenger match in Italy, where both of them got a holiday. They had a heated argument that continued and continued and then Luzzi punched him.

As for who qualifies I’d like to see the Superstar play and it would be fun if he played Silver Fox Sanguinetti with his antics and he is an Italian speaker, so he’d know if they were abusing him and could lead to a heated contest. Hopefully Saretta, Vicente, Monaco, Djokovic and Beto Martin can make the main draw.

Onto the main draw I wonder how Gaudio and Safin will play here as they aren’t exactly fans of Rome, but that happens some people play well at certain events and the whole Nadal streak thing and lets see if he can match the Muster run in 96 by defending Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Rome, but will he fall at RG.

Now the first rounders there are some good potential matches and potential humour as well and that is just as important. ATP and now new bandwagon favourite of MTF Mitya Tursunov is doing down again on clay and the Italians will give him more crap than the Portuguese did and he plays the Potato who should do enough to get the job done.

- LaLo vs Stepanek : Time for Thunder Lips to continue beating up on his pigeon LaLo who is a joke of a player and I hope it’s in straight sets.

- Ferrer vs Chucho : Not the best 1st round for Chucho, but ever since losing his first match against Ferrer, he was won the next 3 in straight sets and I would love to see this kind of result again. Ferrer is a battler and Chucho lost a very tough match against Gaudio in Monte Carlo and decided to take two weeks off and hope this keeps him fresh and ready to go and if he serves well I can see him imposing his game on Ferrer and that’s the key for it and remain patient as he will get chances.

- Ferrero vs Mathieu: Well this one could go either way, will the talented PHM show up or the meek choking mouse. Ferrero has lost a little bit of edge, but at the same time this clay season he hasn’t been losing to duds. I’d like to see PHM win, but it won’t be likely.


- Gaudio vs Malisse : Two talented guys without the greatest mental toughness, but I think Gaudio’s superior clay ability should get him over the line in this one, but one can never tell and a likely meeting with the Berdman in the second round and if he loses to the Srich on clay, then there are major problems.

In this section are Seppi, Youzhny, Wawrinka and Gonzalez and who makes the 3rd round out of these 3 will be out of Seppi, Stani and Gonzalez as Youzhny is in shit form at the moment and Seppi normally plays well in Italy and the Stani vs Gonzo match will be explosive though I am not likely to see it among the sea of Italians that will be 1st rounders on TV.

Now onto some of the other matches in this 1st round. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the Americans are gone by Round 1, though Mirnyi has been in horrible form of late, at the same time Ginepri is perfect for someone to recover their form. Serra should have too much clay nous for Blake and for Hanescu just hope he is over his injury problems and I would like Lurch to be able to take out Duckboy.

Baghdatis is back after his layoff and Oli Rochus could be tired from Münich and that is a chance for him and Marcos’s clay results haven’t been that great from the little he has played on the surface. Lucho Horna is up against Ancic and Lucho needs a good result at one of these TMS events, so he can get himself a seeding at RG. Hope the Shark is over his illness by the time he plays Grosjean, if you are losing 1 and 2 to Vliegen on clay, then there has to be an illness problem.

Nadal and Moya, it would be hilarious if Moya stopped his protégé’s winning streak on clay, though if he does that then Rafa is more likely to win Roland Garros if he loses here.

On a sidenote I will have some rants in the future and also congratulations to Oliver Marach who has made the top 100 for the first time. He is a good guy and good to see one of them do something good at the same time if he or Vicente make the main draw of Rome, it is fine.

Justin Gimelstob Wins a Match on Clay in the Lucky Loser Paradise of Estoril and Reports from the Land of Lederhosen in Munich

Many of the players are taking a break this week and are either attempting to qualify for Rome or getting ready to play after a break of 2 weeks like Acasuso and Gaudio.

This will start off in Estoril and this tournament has had a spate of late withdrawals and has seen the tournament have 5 Lucky Losers in the main draw and that is more than the 4 qualifiers that are in the draw and for this year Estoril does have Mickey Mouse status, though I am not sure if it ranks with Casachallenger.

Already this tournament has started with a shock in that Justin Gimelstob won a match on clay and that is a huge surprise and Gimelstob is probably still in disbelief, but I will give him and Vincenzo Spadea credit for at least turning up and playing these events. Well for Lukas Dlouhy he deserves the red card for losing to Gimelclown on clay and having a match point, this deserves a suspension for losing this match, maybe he can be off the tour for 3 months for losing a match like this, but his confidence will have to be shot to pieces for losing this.

Good to see that Gilles Muller beat the annoying Belgian dwarf Christophe Rochus easily and the PMK is back in the winners circle after losing 3 consecutive 1st round matches and with all these withdrawals this tournament is wide open and it looks like Safin and the PMK will meet for the 3rd time this year and if that happens again I think the result will be the same as Davydenko I think is in awe of Safin and that doesn't help if you have to the beat the guy.

As for who will do well in this tournament, it's a question of who is standing at the end at least blogger favourite Dmitry Tursunov should win a match on clay and that is rare in itself. Though his ATP blog has been funny, but then again at this blog we all know about the humour and entertainment value of Gospodin Tursunov, but as usual MTF gets its a few months later.

Onto Münich and there we have a special reporter there for the tournament. This tournament hasn't suffered like Estoril has, then again not many have relative to the size of the tournament.

The "Weasel" Coria is the number 1 seed in Münich, but how he is going to go at the moment is a very big mystery and something I could discuss at length (I have an idea for a blog article yay) his problems at the moment. He is playing doubles with Juan Monaco at this event and it seems Juan will have to hold the service games and Coria win the return games.

Monaco got back in the winners circle against the Srich, but Juan should be beating the Srich on clay, so that is something to be really that proud of at all, as they say a win is a win and he needs some good performances and he is not doing himself justice at the moment, but confidence is a strange thing, winning like losing is a habit, it's just some are better than others.

Andrei Pavel, this could be his last year on tour and there are a few weak players in the draw, so of course this means he has to draw Nieminen who is one of the better players in the draw and will be one of the favourites for this title, not good for him, but can't have it all in life.

Hopefully the poor mans Acasuso Tomas Behrend can take advantage of his Lucky Loser spot and make the second round and have a good tournament, it would be funny, but I don't see it happening.

Karsten Braasch still the king of German tennis

Bye Bye Spanish Warrior Albert Costa in Barcelona and Casachallenger

It's disappointing this year that Barcelona has suffered a huge amount of withdrawals that isn't good for one of the best non-clay events on the calendar, some of the withdrawals are interesting
such as
- Nalbandian going back for a rally race
- Gaudio deciding to go back to Argentina and forgo playing in the city where he won his first tournament.
- Ljubicic injured a toe.
- Acasuso probably needs to get some more herbal infusion.
- Hanescu is probably still suffering from injury and the mental scarring of losing to LaLo on clay in Monte Carlo.

But there are still some good players on offer, plus the Bye is around as well and that ensures extra people in the club and it's meant to be a wonderful venue from all reports.

This will be last ever went for Albert Costa and I will be sad to see him go, but time moves on and he had a very good time in the game and he won his RG crown that his talent deserved and I hope he can beat the ATP rapper Vinny Ice and it's good that he finishes in the city that he lives in and he can spend more time at home with his kids and watching his beloved Barcelona football team. One of my other faves is very close to retirement big Felix Mantilla, seems only a matter of time.

Onto the tournament now. Calleri is making his comeback and plays Justin Gimelclown in the 1st round and that is what I call a dream draw, just hope he can get through this season without any more injury problems, as this is where he can establish some form, but with Calleri one can never tell.

Berdych is another one who has a tough draw against Montañes, well tough if he isn't ready to play, though to me he has the potential to end the Nadal streak on clay and he does have a very good game for him and they know each other very well, but this is a bit of speculation on my behalf.

Along with Berdych, Nieminen and Andreev are looking for some improvement on their Monte Carlo performances and this is a good tournament for them to do so, though to be fair Igor did get Safin and Ljubo as 1st round opponents previously, but that's the beauty of clay. A players weaknesses can be exploited in such a way that is difficult on other surfaces, if they aren't moving well and their serve is coming back and can't rely on brainless ball bashing.

Casachallenger is at its best again and anything could happen at this tournament and as much as I like Lucho Horna, he being the number 2 seed at an ATP event does have a certain Mickey Mouse credentials. It's meant to be a nice place and there have been some good winners of the event in the past.

Seppi and Lucho can do well here and Massu is the top seed, but I'd like to see the big Behrend do well here. Maybe it's cause he is a cheaper version of Acasuso, except slower and has a great grunt that can be heard from a long distance. Too bad he is not in Barcelona and not playing Ferrero.

Juan Monaco needs a big performance here and there is a chance for Marach as well to make a second round again and hope he can crack the top 100. He is a very good guy, though a bit of a nut on court and does get a bit pissed off with himself.

Let the fun begin.

Sliding Around in the Millionares Playground in Magnificent Monte Carlo

Now the first clay TMS of the season is upon us in Monte Carlo, this out of the three TMS events on clay that has produced the most winners of Roland Garros in the same year. This is probably cause these are the closest playing conditions to what they have in Roland Garros, which is not surprising.

The tournament has been hit with many withdrawals, though for the most part it's American players not playing cause either they are scared of getting flogged, they want to spend more time at home and not worry about this part of the season, or they don't like Monte Carlo which is understandable.

This in a way is good for the tournament as there are still plenty of quality 1st round matches and there is a distinct lack of claycourt clowns and that's a good thing.

Ferrero vs Tursunov: Ferrero is returning to a place of former triumphs, but he is not the same player and hasn't added an extra dimension since the glory days of 2003. Mitya is a loose cannon and though this is not his best surface, he is hitting the ball very well at the moment and I would like to see him win this match, but we'll see.

Ljubo vs Andreev: An intriguing first round match to get Ljubo's clay season under way and not one I think he would like too much. He has no points to defend during this part of the season and should be able to hold his place in the top 10, but big Igor is not an easy opponent at all.

Ljubo will have to serve well for sure and I will be interested to see how his forehand holds up on this surface. He is no gimp on this surface, but a guy like Andreev can break him down from the baseline, though Igor's favourite shot is the off-forehand and that goes Ljubo's backhand which his strength. For Andreev to win, he will need to keep his length very deep and then wrongfoot Ljubo a lot and test out his movement.

Massu vs Ferrer: There will be plenty of running and grunting in this match between these two tough players. As Deivid said this week Froggy Ferrer had some back problems and hopefully he has healed from that and will be able to play well against the "Raccoon" Massu who has shown signs of life this season and has been injury free and is always prepared to play for a long time, though he does take 30 min in between points.

Interestingly enough these two have never played each other and Massu has had time to prepare after not playing a tournament straight after Davis Cup and if Ferrer is ailing then he could take advantage, especially as Ferrer has quite a few points to defend from this event.

Santoro vs Berdych: This is a case of brains versus brawn in this encounter. It has been said and that is Berdych is similar to Safin and in many ways he is in a tennis way. I hope for Berdych's sake he doesn't have a Safin-like disposition to playing Santoro. It could easily happen that the variety of spin, slice and junk could throw the Berdman off and get him extremely pissed off and end up losing focus, and if it's windy that will give another advantage to Santoro, but I am interested in this one for sure.

Gonzalez vs Moya : What a match and these guys will be testing the geometrical dimensions of the court to see how far they can hang in the backhand corner to hit forehands, this is an unpredictable match as both have been a bit down this year, but they have the potential to do very well.

Gaudio vs Henman: Gaston hasn't won a set in 3 matches against Henman and he needs to ready from the first point against this chip/charge rubbish from Henman. It has been a long time since they played. Henman has had injury problems, but can pull out a good performance still and Gaston is out of form, so I hope the trend can be reversed. Gaston ring the big Zabaleta, he will tell you how to beat Henman.

Acasuso vs Volandri : Chucho plays well against Volandri usually and he hasn't played at these TMS events for a long time and I hope Chucho blows him away like he has done previously, their games match up quite well and hope this trend continues.

Should be a good tournament and I get good TV coverage and I am happy about this.

No Time for Paella in Valencia or Texan Rednecks in Houston Special Comments from Valencia Correspondent

The claycourt season begins in Europe in Valencia and the former Mallorca tournament has been moved here and it will lead into my favourite 3 months of the year apart from that horrible month of grasscourt tennis.

Igor Andreev won his first title here in his second home of Valencia defeating another local boy David Ferrer, with the draw it seems Ferrer has the much easier section to navigate if he wants to make the finals again. It will be intruiging to see how they adjust to the clay and whether playing here will be an advantage before playing in Monte Carlo.

As for the draw it's wide open as PMK, Safin, Seppi and Tursunov will be coming from Davis Cup and there has been a tendency to have a let down after in the next tournament. Verdasco returns to the place where he won his only tournament so far, which is a poor return for a guy as gifted as he is. He faces Beto Martin a tough contender, but that is a slighter weaker half.

The match of the first round is between the Russian valencianos Andreev and Safin, Igor has the advantage, but whether he will win or not is debatable. In this section is Ferrero as well as Gaudio who is out of form, but if he can win a couple of matches that will be good. One first round match is of interest not for the right reasons either it's Andrei Pavel and Tomas Zib. Zib has lost 17 matches in a row and Pavel hasn't done much better, hope that changes as he needs a big run soon.

Houston

Well good luck Horna, Monaco, Behrend. Hope Koubek, Massa and Russell can make the main draw.

Famous Feuds in Tennis History

Well since some people don't like Davis Cup and boo to them, here is something that I found in a tennis mag and it was written by Paul Fein about famous tennis feuds.

This has been copied from the magazine onto here and the only thing adjusted was about Muster and the banana incident, the player was Felix Mantilla, he dropped the ball on a few of them, but overall it was worth typing it up.

Yes, there were female ones as well, but I am not going to talk about that on this blog. Make of these little feuds what you will.


Famous Feuds in Tennis History

I stumbled across this article and thought it was interesting and since I don’t deal with the rubbish WTA. I will type out the ones relating to the ATP, though they did miss some of the good stuff for sure.

The Bad Boy vs. The Brat

It was hate at first sight when Connors who had reigned with Björn Borg during most of the 1970s, confronted McEnroe, an equally fiery Irish-American. Proud and pugnacious, Connors resented the outrageously talented punk and at the 1979 Grand Prix Masters, dismissively predicted, “Remember he’s still a young boy. McEnroe will be good practice for me.” Connors retired after trailing 7-5 3-0 to signal the changing of the guard.

The younger (by six years) McEnroe came out on top 20-13 in their often controversial matches, although Connors led 8-7 in GS titles. However their verbal volleys were even and always entertaining. When McEnroe hectored officials during their 1980 Wimbledon semi final, Connors blasted, “My son is better behaved than you. I’ll bring him to play you.” McEnroe confided, “There were times on court when I wanted to beat Connors so bad. I felt I could easily strangle him.”

By 1984, a mellower Connors was winning over crowds with quips instead of alienating them with vulgarity, while irascible McEnroe inspired a love-hate relationship with the fans. “I don’t know that I have changed all that much. They just found somebody worse,” was Jimbo’s memorable zinger.

Mac wasn’t buying the nice-guy image Connors cultivated late in his career and fired back, “I don’t think I could ever be that phoney.”

In 2005, the long-time antagonists agreed to share the BBC broadcasting for Wimbledon. Would that little booth be big enough for these two combustible characters? You cannot be serious! It never happened

The Egoist vs. The Underdog

If 1970s’ champion Guillermo Vilas was a god in Argentina, Guillermo Coria is the current people’s choice. He’s so beloved in his homeland that when he appears in restaurants he gets standing ovations. Ironically, he’s far less popular with other players, including his fellow countrymen, whom he nearly always beats (23-5 at the last count). Coria has been known to mock his opponents after he wins and seldom gives them credit when he loses.

Like oil and water, Coria and kinsman Gaston Gaudio will never mix. They come from different family backgrounds and have different approaches to tennis and life. Coria was groomed from birth to be the greatest tennis player of his generation with his tennis coach dad naming him after Vilas.

Gaudio enjoyed football and rugby in his childhood and only picked up tennis because his older brother was playing at the time. He decided to turn pro only after his father had a heart attack, and the family experienced money problems, believing that tennis could help relieve their financial stresses.

Like Connors, Coria feeds on rivalries to fuel his competitiveness. Only someone with a superiority complex would rent a hotel for the anticipated victory celebrations before the 2004 French Open final, as Coria did. Lo and behold, he lost to the No.44-ranked Gaudio, who was so shocked that he confided, “I don’t know how I win. I can’t believe it yet. This is like a movie for me. And I don’t even know it, but I’m the star.”

In complete contrast, Gaudio finds it hard to compete against those he regards as friends such as Mariano Zabaleta, Juan Ignacio Chela, Carlos Moya and Lleyton Hewitt. A self-confessed perfectionist, he often says he’d rather play well than win.

The bad blood between these two 175cm opposites started in the 2001 Viña del Mar final which Coria captured. They celebrated points by glaring at each other. A week later the simmering feud heated up when they collided in the Buenos Aires quarter finals. In low voices they exchanged nasty remarks. After Gaudio won, he unfurled an Independiente flag (the football team he passionately supports) and jogged towards Esteban Cambiasso, the team’s star who was celebrating Gaudio’s triumph. Coria swears that, while Gaudio was going towards Cambiasso, he “hit” him in the face with part of the flag.

The most bitter confrontation happened after Coria prevailed in the 2003 Hamburg semi final. Coria asked for the trainer when Gaudio was gaining momentum going into the second set tiebreaker. After the short treatment Gaudio took the tiebreaker, but Coria, without showing any signs of cramping or any other injury, won the deciding set 6-0. When Coria limped to the net to shake hands, a provoked Gaudio insulted him by saying, “You are a ghost.”

Since then the two have managed a détente of sorts, perhaps due to the calming influence of Coria’s wife Carla, although Gaudio admitted that he initially thought Coria was again faking cramps in the 2004 Roland Garros final. Their animosity resurfaced at the 2005 World Team Cup when Coria withdrew from his round robin singles match against the two-time defending champions Chile, claiming his shoulder was injured. “I’m fed up, one has to tell the truth,” fumed Gaudio. “This isn’t a team because there’s someone who makes decisions choosing what’s best for him. Coria and I were the best team, but if we were a real team this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Coria is selfish, because he’s extremely competitive,” says a local journalist. “Gaudio is too sincere, he will say what he thinks, and he is justifiably envious that the Argentine media and National Tennis Association treat Coria better. I predict the feud will remain the same. They won’t talk to each other, but they will bad mouth each other.”

The Almost- Champion vs. The Media

“Henman-mania” has been a blessing and a curse for Englishman Tim Henman, who, for much of his career, has endured local pressure to become the first British men’s Wimbledon champion since Fred Perry way back in 1936. Not quite talented enough, he made four semi-finals and four quarter-finals at the All England Tennis Club. Late in his tennis career, as hopes faded, the tabloids became merciless with headlines such as “No Pressure Timbo, But Choke Now, and We’ll Never Forgive You”. Henman held his fire for many years but finally lost his patience when he charged that, “Most journalists don’t know what they’re talking about. A lot of people agree with me.”


The Intimidator vs. The Jerk

Ivan Lendl once called Austrian Horst Skoff “the biggest jerk in tennis”. Skoff earned his reputation by always finding an excuse whenever he lost and insulting linespeople. Equally offensive, fellow Davis Cupper Thomas Muster got his kicks by trying to maim players with vicious bodyshots. Once when an opponent (Felix Mantilla, come on Paul do better research) was eating a banana during a changeover, he walked by grabbed it and ate it himself. In a 1996 match at Queens, Muster kept yelling “faggot” at Mark Woodforde, whose girlfriend was watching courtside. “I’m not Mr Nice Guy. “I’m a tough cookie,” bragged Muster.

As juniors Skoff took a lot of flak for being the smallest kid in the training camp and one day Muster and his pals put him into a box and taped it shut. Their hatred later became public when Muster criticised Skoff’s training habits in the Austrian press. Skoff fired back in telling reporters he didn’t like Muster’s demands of being paid for Davis Cup.

Footnote: Ronnie “Der Arschloch” Leigteb was Muster’s coach, manager and also an organiser of Davis Cup ties. Missed that one again Paul.

For years they wouldn’t talk to each other. Muster upped the ante by not dressing in the same locker room as Skoff, and in 1993 he refused to play Davis Cup if Skoff was on the team.

To his credit, Skoff gradually matured, but the scowling Muster, who won the 1995 Roland Garros and briefly gained the No. 1 ranking, never mellowed.

Ubaldo Scangatta, Italy’s leading tennis writer recalled an irate Muster after whipping Skoff in a contentious Florence final. “In the locker room and nobody else was there, but his masseur. Thomas told me, “I’d like one day to find myself within four walls alone with Horst and finally have a chance to hit him with a lot of punches until I knock him down.’”


The Role Model vs. The Outsider

“I swear every time I passed Connors in the locker room, it took all my will power not to punch him in the mouth. It’s sickening. He and Bill Riordan could be such a good part of tennis, when they have wrecked the whole game?” wrote Arthur Ashe, a stalwart of the ATP players’ union, his 1975 book “Arthur Ashe: Portrait in Motion”

Before their unforgettable 1975 Wimbledon final, Connors filed a $5 million lawsuit against Ashe for calling Connors “unpatriotic” for his refusal to join the US Davis Cup tea,. Bad blood between these two opposites, the admired leader and the brash rebel persisted throughout their careers. When journalist Peter Bodo asked Ashe, “Is Jimmy Connors really just an asshole?” Ashe replied “Yeah, but he’s my favourite asshole.”

Davis Cup Quarter Final Preview

Well it’s time for the Davis Cup quarter finals and unlike some people and some players I appreciate the unique qualities of this event and how they compliment the tour and provide different aspects from run of the mill events, but enough of the hooplah, it’s time to get on with the previews.

Croatia vs Argentina

Understandably the Croats are huge favourites in this match, as they are playing at home in Zagreb on a very fast carpet surface which could rival the Minsk ice rink in comparison to surface quickness and the other factor is the Croats have better players than Belarus will make this one of the tougher challenges for the Argentine team.

The Croatian line up is Ljubo, Karate Kid Ancic, Tuksar and Cilic. I am not sure what the reason that big Karlovic wasn’t included in the squad for this tie. The only thing is that if something were to happen to Ljubicic or Ancic, then it could be trouble for them, but that would be unlikely.

Argentina do have very good tennis depth in relation to players in the top 100, but they need to capitalise on this depth and win a Davis Cup soon, before the generational change which will impact on Argentine tennis and make it more difficult for them to do so.

As for this tie they have a chance of winning for sure, but Nalbandian will have to be at his best and he has never lost a Davis Cup singles tie and he seems to thrive in this environment and doesn’t suffer from motivational problems.

The second singles player is going to be an interesting choice either out of Acasuso or Calleri. As I think Chela is there for backup and the doubles combination will be probably who doesn’t play in the second singles spot. Calleri has the better recent form and seems to thrive in the DC environment. Chucho has a better serve and in theory should be harder to break on this surface, though he does take big swings on the ball, then again this hasn’t stopped Ljubo before.

Just hope it’s 2 all and the 5th match scenario would be great, Argentina managed to beat Australia on grass and they can win here, they just need to play to their abilities and the only ball and not the other stuff. I see the Croats as the winners of this tie.

Australia vs Belarus

This is a tie the Aussies should win and the Belarussians don’t have a great record away from the Minsk ice rink. It will be played on Rebound Ace and as for the pace of the court that is subjective as Hewitt wants it faster, whereas faster wouldn’t harm the either the Beast or Mad Vlad.

For the Aussies the team is Hewitt, Arthurs, Guccione (the Arthurs clone with a forehand) and Hanley. It’s disappointing that Luczak has missed out playing a tie in his home city, but he can now concentrate on playing on clay and getting into the some of the big events.
The Belarussians are led by the Beast and have Mad Vlad as his backup, the guy who does nothing on tour, but when he is playing for Belarus, he comes out of nowhere and plays above his normal level.

Hewitt needs a big performance here to establish some sort of form as he hasn’t had the best of starts to the year, but he truly loves the Davis Cup and is not easy to beat in Australia in this event. His early loss in Miami, may have helped him in a way, though we won’t know to next week. As for the second spot it will probably go to Ronald McDonald Guccione as he has been playing, something Arthurs hasn’t of late.

Big Wayno will be in the doubles with Hanley and they have a very good combo, but big Max is an excellent doubles player as well, at the same time it could easily be over after the doubles. If the Aussies manage to lose this tie, I wonder what Hewitt will complain about and who will bear the brunt of the criticism.

France vs Russia

These two countries must be sick of meeting each other in Davis Cup as it has seemed to happen quite a lot recently.

The Frenchies have chosen to play this on a carpet surface and the choice of surface is an interesting one as the Russians are very capable on all surfaces except grass and the only grass at the moment in France is either for grazing, for dogs to shit on or to play football on.

As for the squads the French have chosen Gasquet, Grosjean, Clement (Forget’s poodle) and Llodra, which was successful against the Germans last time. It seems that they will have Clement/Llodra for the doubles and the other two for the singles and the doubles is where they have the advantage over the Russians, elsewhere the Russians seem to have them covered.

The Russian czar Shamil has named Safin, Davydenko, Tursunov and Youzhny for the tie. Safin has come back very strongly and is the best player in the game under a roof and on carpet which has been chosen for this tie and as long as he is fit, he should take his place and cause of his injury problems he will be the number 2 on the team and will play Gasquet and he has the game to crush Gasquet on this surface. In addition if it comes down to a 5th match, he plays very well against Grosjean and he would be favoured to win that.

PMK will do what he does and go around unnoticed and he can play quite well on this surface and the French might have to target him to get wins against in the singles, if they are going to get over the line.

Too bad Napoleon Forget didn’t include Santoro in this squad, as the potential deciding 5th match between Santoro and Safin would be worth watching alone, but this is just a dream.

USA vs Chile

The Americans have done the only logical and sensible thing in relation to court surface was to choose the grass.

Gonzalez and Massu play with such passion when it comes to playing for their nation and the Athens Olympics was an example of this. It’s not just about playing for themselves and they take great pride in playing for Chile and this is an occasion where they will need it for sure.

In this tie it is the respective number 2 players in the team, that have been showing the better form especially James “I went to Harvard, but I don’t play Harvard tennis” Blake and Nicolas “I am not a vampire I just hate garlic” Massu has played quite well this season so far. The problem for Massu especially is the surface and I am not sure he can win any of his singles matches.

As for the number 1 players in the team, neither of them have been in outstanding form. At the same time Davis Cup is a different beast and it can inspire or hinder players and hopefully for the Chilean team Fernando Gonzalez can lift his game and he will need to win on Day 1 for the Chileans to have a chance in this tie.

Doubles could be interesting with the chest bumping Bryan brothers playing Gonzo and Massu who play a unique form of doubles just belting huge groundstrokes from the baseline and hope they can hit through the Bryans.

Mr Roddick isn’t even winning the Mickey Mouse events in North America that he usually does and he has never won against Massu, but if he can’t beat him on a grass court in his home country, then there are some serious alarm bells.

Blake and Gonzo has the potential to be an exhibition of brainless ball bashing or maybe some quantum physics can be incorporated into this match. This will be last time Blake will be winning consecutive matches for a while.

The Americans should be too strong in this one, though I want to be proven wrong.

The Bye Getting Into Miami Vice

The last of these rubbish 96 player draws is upon us and thanks for that. The atmosphere in Miami seems to be quite good, mainly it's because of the high Latin population that give the crowds a bit more energy and life and the standard of tennis can be quite good, though it does get windy there as well.

Once this tournament is over then it moves onto clay and no more 96 player draws, though the Bye is always a great highlight of these events and usually plays with such flair. The question will this be another Federer vs Nadal final? The thing is I don't give a fuck really, the main reason is I enjoy their tennis for different reasons and as for domination, well it's up to the other players to lift their games and they will do it eventually.

Some of the 1st round matches completed were Agustin Calleri defeating Juan Monaco 6-2 6-1 and I would love to know what happened here. I hope Juan wasn't injured or maybe Calleri just hit everything in the middle of the racquet as that is a comprehensive defeat and he know plays Gael Monfils in the next round and that could be quite an interesting match, but with Calleri one can never tell.

Stan "The Man" Wawrinka beat Andy Murray in 3 sets for the second time now and there was some confidence in the press that on a hardcourt, that this would be Murray's revenge from the Geneva defeat, but this was not to be the case. Stani has an excellent backhand and can hit very well, just needs to improve his shot selection at times. For now Murray claims that clay is his favourite surface and soon enough and the tests will come. Now Stani plays Gonzo who has been struggling with some injury problems of late and anything could happen in this one.

Fabrice Santoro managed to break big Ivo Karlovic's serve and win in straight sets and now takes on his pigeon German Nicolas Kiefer. Santoro has never lost a set to this guy in 6 matches and I can see how Kiefer would get pissed off playing against the little trickster and hope Fab can serve up some more magic to piss off the German.

Chucho Acasuso wins 5-7 6-1 6-1 over Czech Challenger Bunny Tomas Zib and seems Chucho was having a sleep in the 1st set, but he only made 1 unforced error in the 2nd set and was able to carry through to the end of the match and has a potentially very interesting match with the Berdman Tomas Berdych. In this match whoever wins I can't be a loser, though I'd like to see Chucho win.

Malisse and Massu won their matches as well. I am not a huge Massu fan, but I would love it if he takes out Boredo in the next round. As for Xavi Malisse he gets to play Radek Stepanek again and I don't think Thunder Lips will be losing 1 and 1 again so soon, but this was the scene where Malisse blew up at the linesperson and got a holiday from the ATP, which of course Roddick and Agassihole wouldn't have.

As for the rest of the first round the only Aussie player I like Peter Luczak is up against that evil toad Arnaud Clement. I hope Luczak can play a blinder and win this match and not be too passive and keep a heavy length on his forehand. Lucho Horna plays the geeky German Florian Mayer and just hope he can remain focused and not get pissed off from the junk that Mayer hits, though the unorthodox two handed drop shot on the hop is a thing of beauty.

Andrei Pavel and Beto Martin are playing and hopefully one of these guys can knock Roddick out early and Pavel really needs some good performances soon, as he will be out of the top 100 if he fucks up in Münich and doesn't do well elsewhere. He has a 3-0 record over Beto, just hope he can continue on in this way. Then the pimp of Florida the rapping genius of Boca Raton Vinny Spadea is playing against Seppi and hope Seppi shows him the door.

Then the highlight of the tournament without a doubt besides the presence of the Bye. Donald Young vs Carlos Berlocq, someone will win their 1st match on the ATP tour and the only question is who. DY is talented, but so overhyped and getting more Wild Cards than a prostitute has sex in a full working week and Berlocq is a clay hound, but hopefully with Gaby Markus, he will improve and win this match and maybe DY should learn some lessons in humility, though I don't see this happening.

The Bye Taking Over Indian Wells

Well it's Masters Series time and I call the Indian Wells and Miami the useless TMS events, well one they are a 96 player draw. 64 is sufficient, but no these need to be different. The indoor events with 48 well this makes sense to an extent, not enough courts for these indoor event for 64 players. The best thing about this is that the Bye makes a comeback to the ATP tour and his legion of fans will be impressed.

They have played some 1st round matches and there will be some 2nd rounders played today as well. Gaudio vs the Bye was a brutal match 7-6 6-7 7-6, the tiebreaker was 35-33 and the Bye saved 31 match points in total but Gaston was too tough this time.

Rain mucked up some of the schedule so that's why some matches are overlapping and I hope that someone new can win this event, then again as long as Agassi,Hewitt and Roddick don't win, then it's all good. These events don't lead anywhere, unlike the other 7 TMS events which prepare the players for Roland Garros, the US Open and the Masters.

Jose Acasuso plays Roddick in the 2nd round and vamos Chucho. Roddick isn't in great form and if Chucho can make enough returns and serve reasonably well then he has a huge chance he can get the right result here. Chucho started slowly against Salzenstein, but this is first match on hardcourt for a while and it does take time to adjust from the clay to the hardcourt. The last 2 sets were promising and hope he takes out the Duck.

The all Russian battle between Tursunov and Andreev could be very close and while Igor has won both of their matches and both of these have been very close. Andreev does the best with his talent, whereas Tursunov does everything but, to be fair he has had some injury problems.

Berdych and Henman looks like it has potential to be a good match and the Berdman has been a bit slow at the start of the season and Henman has had his problems, though if Berdych doesn't serve well he could struggle with attacking game of Henman, though Henman is having his back problems these days.

Some first rounders that are of interest for myself anyway are Calleri vs Massu, Seppi vs Mathieu and Santoro vs Malisse. Hope Lucho Horna can get through as well and luckily I will have some coverage and when it's on and I am around I will watch it and as long as there isn't WTA mixed in, then that's a good thing.

Björn Borg Is Not Broke and What Happens to Sportspeople in Retirement

What happens to professional sportspeople after they retire. Many make the transition easily like Ivan Lendl who walked away and has virtually nothing to do with tennis these days and is more interested in his daughter's golfing fortunes. Others still stay within tennis like captaining their Davis Cup teams or play on the Seniors tour and commentating as well.

Tennis doesn't have as many of its people go off the rails as say football for example, then again this is probably cause of the different nature of the most of its players. Tennis as much as I enjoy it, in heart is a conservative sport and it helps to come from a semi middle class background and requires a certain amount of money to start up, whereas football doesn't have that. Both of these sports have a huge global appeal and players can earn plenty of money, but the amount of footballers that go off the rails with drugs, gambling and all the other stuff seems to be a lot higher than tennis players and that might even be per capita.

Which brings to the subject of the blog Swedish legend Björn Borg who is selling his 5 Wimbledon trophies and the rumours came around that he is broke and has to do this to make ends meet. Borg was the reason Swedish tennis exists, through the second generation who were the golden generation. He made tennis accessible to more people and his game was influential long after he retired.

Borg earnt plenty of money though compared current earnings it's peanuts, and he was making plenty of money through exhibitions and with his sudden retirement, it left an empty void and he had a lot of problems. Yes, he problems with women (yes, they can be troublesome), had some bad business dealing and he overdosed on some barbiturates.

With his Björn Borg label doing quite well and he seemed to put his troubles behind him and he was at Båstad talking with Rafael Nadal and he has kept himself in very good shape physically. Here is the Borg response to those rumours about his status as being broke.

http://expressen.se/index.jsp?a=538879

That is the original article in Swedish and my translation below.

Björn Borg: I am not Broke at all

Björn Borg laughed at rumours about that he should be broke.

The tennis legend imagines what he can earn from selling the Wimbledon trophies he will give it to charity.

Yesterday, the news that Björn Borg will auction off his 5 Wimbledon cups in London on the 21st June created big headlines.

At the time he said in a press release. “I must secure savings in the long term for those closest to me”

It is ridiculous

The nasty rumour said that Borg is broke or needs money to pay for an eventual summons of 11million SEK. Something that the legend definitely denied

“It is ridiculous to hear from Sweden that I am selling the Wimbledon trophies to survive or save my family and my dearest. I can’t understand that people think I am broke, when I have new stores opening all the time” said Borg.

He is present for the time being in Dubai, together with wife Patricia and together with son Leo and both of Patricia’s children Kasper and Bianca.

According to Borg his personal economic status has never been stronger.

“My business has never been better”, he said in a short statement.

Why sell the Wimbledon trophies?

“I have won so much and have so many prizes. I can’t keep in order of them all and thought that this would be something that someone would like”.

Wimbledon is the biggest

“Wimbledon is the greatest you can win through tennis, but I have so many films and such about the memory. But nothing will take it backwards ”. The trophies which will be sold at the auction firm Bonhams they expect around 4,4 mil SEK and 2 signed Donnay racquets. What Björn Borg is going to do with the money isn’t clear, but it is not at all sure than he will heepit.

“The money that comes in I think I will give it to charity. But to which one I don’t know yet” completed Borg.