Bigger Isn't Always Better : Aus Open review

Yes, the final Aus Open report is here. Since history was created last night, I figured
it was better to write something after the event has been finalised.

Congratulations to Carlos Alcaraz on creating history. The youngest man to win all 4
majors at least once. Sure, surface homogenisation has made this feat a lot easier
than previously but still a great achievement. Alcaraz has a combo of the big 3, his
defensive skills are on par with Djokovic, the anticipation and heavy forehand up
there with Nadal and variety of Federer.

Alcaraz

The main differences between Alcaraz and the Prince who have been dominating
over the last few years are that Alcaraz has more ways to defeat the player than
Sinner. Two, the highest level of Alcaraz is greater than Sinner but the lower level of
Sinner is higher. The difficult thing for Sinner is that the gap between the levels is
decreasing for Alcaraz.

Now onto the not so fun stuff. The Australian Open has changed and not always for
the better. The moniker for the event is the “Happy Slam”, but if we are being honest
that is a sham. The only people who are happy are TA as they are making shitloads
of money, yes shitloads is an official unit of monetary measurement. They like to say
that they take on feedback, in most cases when it suits their agenda. To be fair they
did increase the amount of water stations.

Another thing the organisation loves to crow about is record crowds. As they only
care about money then it is successful, but honestly what is the point of record
crowds when it’s a shit customer experience for many. This is not an example of old
man yelling at clouds or everything is better back in my day. Numerous news
outlets and other online forums have had many complaints about way too many
people at the tennis.

Previously the event sold itself with the tennis as the main spectacle and the prices
for a major event were affordable to take the family especially in the early rounds on
the outside courts where you could see quality matches. Of course, CPI is a thing,
$20 now doesn’t have the same value as 6 years ago, costs have increased while
this is true. The ground passes are quite expensive for what you get these days.

To alleviate the shit customer experience, they need to find solutions. Either

increase the capacity of the courts, expand into the Olympic village precinct. I had

seen that there were a few electronic screens showing approximate court capacity, in

theory that is a good idea, but the reality isn’t so accurate as it does not consider the

ludicrously deep lines for some of the outside courts. Then there is the phenom of

sitting through 1 or 2 matches before waiting for the last match on court which

contributes to the huge lines.

This has been an increasing problem over the last 3 years. A perfect example last

year was the match between Dangerous Daniel Altmaier and Comesana out on one

of the back courts. This match unless you’re German, Argentinian or a sport idiot

like me then most would not know these two and had a line up to get in.

In addition to this, now the tennis is a bit of a sideshow instead of the main act. TA

have marketed that this is a 3 week event but qualies had record crowds when this

should not be happening at all. So many people getting in the way, but if there is a

positive that some young kid watched some matches and found a player, they

became a fan of. Not all of us were born as fanatics, the hook has to start

somewhere.

This leads to the next issue now you have these drunk bogans who don’t give a shit

about the sport thinking they’re witty when for the most part they’re as humorous as

haemorrhoids. Yes, the parasitic influencers are there as well, adding nothing at all.

People go there to be seen, can’t tell the difference between forehand and forehead.

Yay, I was at the tennis it was so good. Who did you see? I don’t know mate, I didn’t

see anyone.

The Good

Well, it’s always great catching up with people I enjoy being around despite the other

crap going on. Great to see Petea, Lance, Owen, Sean, Scootus, Matt, Febbo, the

Mailman. Plus, the Cuevas brothers Pablo is still a legend and younger but bigger

brother Martin as well.

Argentinian fans with the gourds drinking their mate with some proper crowd noise.

The Cerundolo vs. Rublev match where Fran was so moved at the end of the

match, where he felt like he was in Argentina taking selfies with the fans afterwards.

Court 14 where the grand piss came about with the change of wind. Everyone

holding their nose or coughing, just reminded me from some of the very dingy music

venues that I may have frequented in the past.

John Blom an umpiring masterclass in the final.  I mean this classic line “Ladies and gentlemen, if you call out during the point you will be sent out, and that will ruin your night,”

So, it wasn’t all shit, but would I recommend a friend to go to the Aus Open tennis.

Before without a doubt it would be yes, but now it would be a no.

Bigger isn't always better unless it's males in the porn industry, but hey record crowds.

Just Like Home : Fran Cerundolo Show

This will be my final day at the tennis,  but this won't be the last report as there will be a summary at the end for those who care about this odd blog haha.

Today was such contrast in fortunes.   It started out very badly,  but ended beautifully.

Paul vs.  Davidovich Fokina

Tommy Paul the man with two first names was looking rather stylish in purple plays very well in Melbourne and has a favourable record against Foki.   Paul is pretty crafty and loves pace on the ball.

Foki as much as I like the guy,  he is not a tactical genius.   Tennis is a difficult game in many ways,  but in others not so much.   For example Paul loves pace,   so why would you feed him pace in his hitting zone.  Need to vary the heights and pace of shots to him.   If he's able to generate pace from shoulder high,  then too good but doing the same shit has not worked.

Paul started the match very well and not making many errors.  Foki looked a bit flat and clueless to be fair,  he ended up going off the courr to get some treatment on his hamstring.  After losing the first 2 sets 6-1 6-1,   Foki pulls the pin.  No point going on if you are unable to compete,  it's just a shit way to go.  Paul's reward is to face Alcaraz.

Cerundolo vs.  Rublev

Another match between two top 20 players which was at a much higher level than the previous one.  Rublev has beautiful hair and Marat Safin in the box,  yes he's one dimensional in the see ball,  hit ball kind of way.  Cerundolo has a massive forehand when he has the chance to use it and is better at the net/

The match started ot as expected with extended rallies waiting for the opportunity to dominate with the forehand.   Cerundolo break early and took the first set.  The Argentine continued on from the previous match, moving well  hitting good length and working the angles.

These two know each other well and the thing I noticed was that Rublev has maybe lost a bit of pop on his shots.  Maybe,  it was the sun wrecking my brain,  but he was not able to dominate or hit through Cerundolo.  The second set was close and no major dramas or fluctuations.   Cerundolo played an excellent tie breaker to take a 2 sets to love lead sending the Argentinian fans into delirium.

Rublev breaks Cerundolo in his first service game who had a bit of a letdown from the tiebreaker.  The reaction is what impressed me the most.  Cerundolo didn't mope or whine about being a break down,  where he has had moments like this previously.   He broke back at 2-2 and the turning point was the huge hold of serve with multitude of break points for Rublev which was unable to break.

Cerundolo was able to break serve and then served out the much comfortably.   Now he's into the 4th round without losing a set.   The Argentine fans gave him a lot of support,  creating a very fun and dynamic atmosphere.   Cerundolo took in the atmosphere and now has to beat Zverev next up.                

Same as it ever was : Foki loves a 5 setter

Sometimes the sequel isn't as shit. Here is the second last report for the tournament and for those who are mad enough to read this rather strange blog,  thank you.    The matches were very contrasting but for differing reasons.

Fran Cerundolo vs.  Dzhumur

The elder and more talented Cerundolo is now coached by Salto's favourite and all round Uruguayan legend Pablo Cuevas.  This was potentially a tricky match for Cerundolo if he was not switched on.

Dzhumur managed an early break in the 1st set and it seems like he's complaining a lot less on court these days.  Cerundolo was able to get the break back quickly and use his superior skills to dominate the match.

                                           Fran Cerundolo

Cerundolo played an outstanding match.  He showed the right amount of patience and aggression.  The Argentine was hitting with good length and dominating with the forehand to open up the court,  using his drop shot at the right time to finish the point.

Coach Cuevas was happy with that performance and will need to keep a high level for his next match against Rublev.

Davidovich Fokina vs.  Opelka

Now this was the match between the tennis player and servebot.  These matches are very difficult mentally for the player as a lot of the match isn't on their racquet.  The most important thing is for them to hold serve and then taking any break chances that come their way.

Foki has started fairly well and was comfortable on serve.   Opelka was either ace,  service winner or double fault.  The one game he got broken in the first set  it was Opelka serving a double fault going for 200km/h second serve.   You'd think being almost 3m tall that would be able consistent kick serve which would bounce over the head.  The second set was just both players holding serve until the tiebreaker,   Foki was able to get the mini break and won it comfortably.

So far so good with Foki's mentality in the match,  but that was about to the change at 5-5 all in the 3rd set where he plays an absolute stinker of game and Opelka breaks without having to do anything really special.   He easily serves out to set to take it to 2 sets to 1.  Foki is annoyed and then leaves the court for a kit change,  though some would say a strategic timeout.

Start of the 4th set Foki holds serve and then has a break point at 30-40 to go 2-0 up.   He worked the point very well and had a very high forehand volley with no pace and dumps into the middle of the net.  It was a lot harder to miss,  even very poor volleyers would have got that over the net at least.   The inner rage was coming out and he manages to get broken at 3-2 in the big American easily closes out the set.

Foki confronting idiot fans

Foki was seething and went over to confront these obnoxious Opelka fans in the corner of the court.   The umpire got down very quickly to prevent a heated discussion,  don't get me wrong I don't mind a bit of niggle but got to concentrate on the game.

Opelka has never come back from 2 sets down.  Then this is the Australian Open and it's not natural without a Davidovich Fokina 5 setter.   You can tell that I have been through experience a few times.    Opelka has started playing better,  actually hanging in the rallies and not just slapping the ball for the sake of it.   He was even hitting backhand down the line winners.

At 2-2 in the 5th set  Foki was down 0-40,  but was strong mentally and was able to hold serve.  This gets back to my original point that he had to do everything to hold serve as break chances are limited.  Opelka serving to stay in the match at 4-5 and thankfully Foki was able to break for the match and let out a huge roar.

Thankfully the tennis player won on this ocassion and yes we've seen the Foki 5 set movie a few times,  but a good ending.

Other Stuff

It's interesting to see the serious Bublik these days.   So many previous experiences on the outside courts where he was a mix of the brilliant,  the bizarre,  stupid and the running commentary as well.

The turnaround in attitude has been immense and he is deserving of the top 10 ranking.   Bublik is definitely needed in a tennis world that has been homogenised to a degree where it is almost indistinguishable and a cardboard cutout could be used as a replacement.

He was always just a bit better than Fuscovics,   even when Fuscovics had the break in the 3rd and served for it.   Bublik previously would have just tanked the game,  but went to work broke back and got it done in straght sets.

Bublik has managed the balance by playing within his skillset and doing it his way.   After the match Fuscovics as was leaving the court,  he shook hands with Bublik.   Then his team went over to Bublik's as well,  good touch.

The crowds are so huge these days,  the after 5pm ground pass was sold out which has never happened before.  At the same time,  they definitely need to make the courts have a greater capacity.

The Grand Piss : AO Reports

After avoiding Stupid Sunday which was hilariously overcrowded,   today I made it down to the courts.  It would be fair to say it a mix of fortunes,  mixed in with some bad stench literally and figuratively.

Ok,  the Australian Open has changed and not for the better.   Yes,  I might be old and grumpy,  sure you are not chasing the same women you are 18 as you are at 45.   Nothing stands still,  with any form of progress there are downsides.

For example the slick marketing call the Australian Open an event these days and a 3 week event at that.  You had the huge record crowds for qualifying,  but that is cause most people don't read the print with the dates of when the main draw started.   Extra Sunday is a straight money grab and never about the fans.  

What ends up happening is you have a huge bunch of clowns who go to the Aus Open to drink booze,  be seen and influencer types polluting the venue.   I mean most of those people can't tell the difference between forehand and forehead.   Of course I understand there has to be some entertainment,  but the tennis should be main focus and not the sideshow which it has become.

Now onto the tennis

Davidovich Fokina vs.  Misolic

Perfect first round match for Foki here as Misolic does not have the weapons to bother him,  especially on this surface.   The biggest issue was Foki trying to keep his concentration as this match was going too easily for him.

It will be interesting to see how he handles this season after two major disappointments in finals in 25.  He has changed coaches which was a surprise with Felix Mantilla being replaced by Mariano Puerta,  let'see how that pans out.   His consistent run of form in 25 started from here.

This was a professional performance,   get it done with a minimum of fuss.   Next round will be a challenge as he plays the servebot Reilly Opelka.

Čilić vs.  Altmaier

Altmaier had an excellent 2025 and finished the year getting married in Mexico.   Yes,  I want to go to a Mexican wedding in the future.   The start of the year has been difficult for Altmaier as he had not won any of the matches in Brisbane and Adelaide.   It's not that he can't be effective on a hardcourt,  it just needs to be on the slower side.

The best thing I can say that for the first 2 sets Altmaier was very consistent.   He was mistiming off both sides,  that either was sailing out, into the net or being mid court fodder for Čilić to punish with winners.

Čilić was solid but not that good to have won the first two sets 6-0 6-0.  Once Altmaier got on the board he ended an awful run of losing 21 games in a row,  as he had lost from 3-4 to Munar in Adelaide score being 6-3 6-0.

Once Altmaier got on the board he started to extend some rallies and fought hard as he was never really comfortable in the match.   Got it to a 3rd set breaker where he had a mini break,  but a couple of poor points and got punished for it.

As the great philosopher once said "sometimes it maybe good,  sometimes it maybe shit".  We all have days like that,  thankfully he's going to be playing on clay after here.   Got to stick around for the shit moments to embrace the good ones.

The Bizarre

Last year I was the Fokina vs. FAA which was suspended due to excessive crowd noise from another court.  Had to be moved to another court then finishing at 1.30am with numerous antics.

I had my incredibly sexy death metal unicorn shirt on. Someone dressed in a seagull costume was either very impressed or jealous.

The scene for the bizarre event of the tournament is Court 14 aka the Grand Piss.   The court is located near some portaloos.  As the wind changed direction,  there must have been a blockage or the sewage was on strike.  Everyone was either coughing or holding their nose as stench lingered over the court.   Maybe I was lucky after spending way too many hours in dingy venues or my hayfever was so bad that I was not impacted as others.

As for the match between Maestrelli and Atmane.   The young qualifier was too strong in the last 2 sets,  he served very well, forced Atmane into error after error.   There was plenty of noise from the Italian fans,  some of the Frenchies must have been at other matches.

Once he took the match,  the joy and celebration from Maestrelli celebrating with his team and fans afterwards was magnificent.   There were tears in his eyes,  this is huge for a younger player who has been on the Challenger tour. Winning a round at a major sure you get points for it,  but the money defintiely helps a lot as well with the scheduling where there is not the need to chase tournaments.

On that note stop hitting the ball to him ya dickhead.

Stop Hitting The Ball To Him Ya Dickhead : Aus Open Reports

Well it's that time of the year where this blog comes out of its slumber for a brief moment.  Who knows what to expect,  but already there are bizarre moments and the main draw has not started.   Before I start with the circus just wanted to write RIP Damian Kust who died at 26 who loved the Challenger tour,  this is where the current stars all played before they became big.

On first day there were 30 000 people for the first day of qualies,  this is unheard of and the previous record was 7000.   This is the time of the event where there tennis idiots like myself,  tournament staff,  players and coaches plus others preparing the venue.   Way too many people were convinced by the very slick marketing who thought this was the first day of the event.   Reading the tournament website clearly has dates there bolded.  

Budkov Kjær  vs.  Watanuki

Woohoo Norway we actually have 2 decent tennis players now after the lovely Casper Ruud.   BK was an excellent junior and is making his way through the tour.  Thankfully he hasn't been hugely overhyped,  though these days pretty much tennis stops at Sinner and Alcaraz,  nothing outside of this exists.

Budkov Kjær  

This was an interesting match.   Budkov Kjær had the break in the first set,  but manages to lose.  Watanuki does the same in the second.   The third was close but Budkov Kjær was able to take the break in 3rd.   He has a good team around him,  this was a very tough one and managed to get through it,  Winning a match like this against a tough veteran should give him confidene,  by this time next year he should be in the main draw.

Wong vs.  Blanchet

Wong was serving like Karlovic hitting the corners with the serve and lots of aces.  Blanchet just was not able to get into the service games.   In the 2nd set tiebreaker he was up 6-3,  but was unable to capitalise and Wong took it in straight sets,  it would not surprise if he makes the main draw.

The highlight of this match is relating to the subject title.   There was a drunken heckler who just screaming random tactical information.   Some of it was accurate and other was a bit delusional.  It was like a radio going on the whole time,  could definitely smell the red wine from 5 rows back.

Towards the end of the 2nd set,  she screams out stopping hitting the ball to him ya dickhead towards Blanchet.   For sure Blanchet wanted to be running side to side,  when he could make any returns to Wong.   That catchphrase is almost T-shirt worthy.

Reidi vs.  Choinski

Welcome back to the tour Reidi who made the 4th round of the US Open last year where he was the lowest ranked player to do so.   He has plenty of talent,  but the body has not been kind to him.   He's definitely a consistent top 100 player when fit,  just needs an injury free run.

Riedi played an excellent match,  he was hitting the forehand well and working the slower Choinski around the court before unleashing quality dropshots which were for the most part outright winners.  Choinski was definitely moving like the Easter Island moai and Riedi got it right tactically.

That's one of the great things about this event is the very international nature with the very diverse communities which make it interesting.

Other stuff

The Peruvian legend Luis Horna is here coaching Gonzalo Bueno who managed to defeat Bashashvili.  The Georgian is so inconsistent it was either clear winner or unforced error.  Bueno is predominantely a claycourt player but was very solid and did what was necessary to win the match. 

I went up to Horna after the match and told him "I'd be coming here so long I remember when you had hair and I was a lot smaller".  Don't worry we both laughed.

Lajovic vs.  Diaz Acosta

Lajovic was winning the match fairly easily and served for it in the 2nd,  failed to do so.   Diaz Acosta wins the 2nd set,  continues the momentum and then has an opportunity to serve out the 3rd set but fails to do so.   Once this happens then Diaz Acosta starts cramping badly.

As for cramping I am sorry that's bad luck,  conditioning is part of the great sport and got to be able to go the distance.   Lajovic ends up winning in a champions tie break.   Yes,  I am still of the school, where you should be breaking to win a match in the final set,  but the champions tiebreaker is definitely the least shit version.

Kudos to Diaz Acosta who even though was cramping,  he was still willing to take photos with fans after losing such a close match.  Most players after a close loss just want to get away as soon as possible.

Remember kids stop hitting the ball to him ya dickhead